Sex Is Not A Four Letter Word

A Little Rant about Sex, Guns and Violence

Sex Is Not A Four Letter Word

I am not a huge music aficionado but I have some favorite artists and songs. Rihanna is right up there. Disturbia makes for a mean cha cha and a nice change from the old school Latin songs on the dance floor. When her latest hit, S & M, hit the airwaves, I turned up the volume. It’s got a great beat and the lyrics are a prescription for permission to invite the vixen out to play.

‘Cause I may be bad, but I’m perfectly good at it


Sex in the air, I don’t care, I love the smell of it

Sticks and stones may break my bones,

But chains and whips excite me.

~ The Island Def Jam Record Group

So imagine my surprise, when listening to a local radio station in Los Angeles, to discover they are bleeping the word S E X. Seriously? Of all the words that have been used in lyrics, particularly since the birth of rap…of all the phrases, scenarios and stories musicians have told, sex is getting bleeped?

Women have been called whores and bitches. There are songs that glorify guns and violence and murder. In “Love the Way You Lie,” Eminem sings about domestic violence (An interesting sidebar to this is Rihanna chose to be featured in this song, inspiring quite a bit of debate)…


Next time I'm pissed

I'll aim my fist

At the dry wall

Next time

There will be no next time

I apologize

Even though I know it's lies

I'm tired of the games

I just want her back

I know I'm a liar

If she ever tries to fucking leave again

I'mma tie her to the bed

And set the house on fire

~ Aftermath Records

…and we’re going to bleep out S-E-X?


There is power in our sexuality. Perhaps that is scary or intimidating. A woman who knows what she wants and expresses it is a woman who I know can walk into any room filled with healthy self-confidence. If the song spoke to submission, I wouldn’t be a fan. But this song celebrates a woman who isn’t afraid to say she what she enjoys.

Having a healthy connection to our sexuality is worth celebrating, not silencing.  It is empowering.

"Sex in the air, I don’t care, I love the smell of it…"

I’ll be saying the word out loud as I sing along. Let’s fill in that blank, ladies!

Want more insights into finding your voice?  Check out "Screw Graceful & Polite & Getting It Right" on my website blog.