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Our personality is our power.
By Suzanne Jones — Written on Jun 04, 2018
Let’s face it, who goes into parenting not wanting to raise successful, happy kids? The problem is, parents often mistake successful personality traits of happy kids with less favorable traits, defiance and rebellion.
Instead, based on their own perception, they impose on their kids what a "good" personality trait is and what success "should" look like. These impositions are rooted from the way they were parented. It also stems from their own unmet needs, their likes, dislikes, and unfulfilled dreams.
Kids are individual beings with their own mind and soul.
Whether or not you birthed your children or adopted them, they will have their own way of approaching their world. Children also model the world around them. As a parent, what you do and say and how you act and react to them shapes their behavior — which follows them into adulthood.
And while you are influential in this way when it comes to raising happy kids, their personality is just that — their personality. And it must be encouraged for them to be happy kids who grow into successful adults.
Have there ever been times in your life when you were just being you, having fun and feeling like a rock star only to have someone shut you down? Can you remember dreaming big dreams and imagining an amazing life for yourself, only to be told to be realistic and get your head out of the clouds?
Is there a time when you responded to a situation in the same way as was modeled to you and you got punished for it? Do you remember what you were thinking and how it made you feel?
For starters, I bet you were incredibly confused. And then I bet it wasn't long before you began to realize who you needed to become in order to gain acceptance. More often than not, that meant leaving the real you behind.
What did that do to your ability to trust yourself?
When you can reflect on your own childhood and have empathy for your lost self, you will be able to step into the mind of your child. Doing so allows you to have empathy for your child who is trying to find their authentic place in the world.
All it takes to really encourage your child is to understand yourself and what you needed/wanted. You owe this to your child and you owe it to yourself. Allowing your children the freedoms you may have had stolen from you will help you to raise happy and successful kids.
Here are the 7 personality traits you need to encourage and hone in your kids:
- Self-expression: Your child will feel the freedom and safety of being their true selves.
- Bossy/Opinionated: This reassures them that they are assertive and can think for themselves.
- Curiosity: They become a seeker of truth. Curiosity helps them gauge what feel right and make sense to them. In doing so, builds on their intuition.
- Fearlessness: They have the willingness to try new things and test boundaries. It helps them know their limits while gaining experiences.
- Relentless: They learn not to take "no" for an answer which means they don’t quit easily when faced with obstacles. They know what they want and are driven to get it.
- Creative: Creatives and dreamers with big imaginations do amazing things in and for this world.
- Rule Breakers: They refuse to be put in a box and love to find new (and often ingenious) ways of doing things. They have a mind of their own and like to challenge the status quo - and themselves.
Each of these personality traits lends itself to authenticity which, in today's society, is the most valued commodity.
The happiest kids and the most successful adults were encouraged to hone in on these personality traits.
Suzanne Jones helps fearful adoptive parents become more confident in their parenting skills and learn the tools they need to best meet the needs of their adopted child. If raising a happy, healthy adopted child and family is a priority for you, connect with her for guidance and support or read her free e-book, Debunking The Adoption Myth.