Is Plastic Surgery A Bad Thing For You And Your Relationship?

5 signs that you've gone too far trying to change for your partner.

plastic surgery

How much money would you spend and to what degree of discomfort and possible pain would you go to in order to please your partner or attract relationships? This is a question that many of us have grappled with at one point or another in our adult lives. Sometimes, the imperative to change doesn't even come from the one we love. It can be an internal drive that causes us to go to extremes to reach a particular goal.


In a recent piece at Huffington Post Weird News, a woman followed her dream of not just becoming a model, but changing her body so that she actually looks like a "sex doll." She says that this dream began when she felt inferior as a young girl and so, with the financial help and support of her partner, she has had $50,000 worth of plastic surgery done to achieve this particular look.

While many point out that the so-called Barbie doll figure is unrealistic and possibly unhealthy for the real women to attain and sustain, this woman says she's "wild" about the sexy way she looks after lip and buttocks implants, a nose job, Botox treatments and having had her breasts augmented to a size 32G.


We respect this woman's right to alter her body as she chooses, but it brings up an important relationship question: 

Is there such a thing as too much change?

Usually, we're big proponents of change. If you tend to accuse, yell first and ask questions later, then it's probably in your best interests to change the way you communicate. If you have a habit of putting yourself or your partner down, it's smart to change that and learn to be kinder. Your love, relationship or marriage won't grow the way it needs to grow if you and your partner aren't open to change.

But, there's a point when change can become dangerous.

Maybe your drive to make the change comes solely from a need to please your partner and you are completely wrong about what your partner really likes and wants. Maybe you are right and your partner does want you to change in this certain way, but he or she is attempting to manipulate or control you which is never good. And maybe, your need to change comes from insecurity, fear or a painful past experience that's still with you.


When you make a change for the wrong reasons or you go about it in a way that's unhealthy, you're putting yourself and your relationship at risk.

Watch for these 5 signs that you've gone too far with a change...

  1. Your aim is perfection. Be honest with yourself. Does the change you want to make include being perfect in some way? Do you think you won't be beautiful and desirable unless you look like a Barbie or "sex" doll? Do you believe that you have to earn more and more money so that your partner (or a potential partner) will consider you a success? If what you ultimately want to be is unrealistic and perfectionistic, you're setting yourself up for constant stress, pain and probable failure. 
  2. You're jeopardizing your health. Take a second look at what you are trying to be, do or have and assess the risks to your physical and emotional health. If the change you're trying to make involves extreme behaviors that are unsafe or questionable, we urge you to re-consider. If your partner truly loves you, he or she won't want you to be harmed trying to reach this goal.
  3. You're abandoning your core beliefs and ethics. People's priorities and positions on issues can change over the course of their lives. This can be a really positive thing. But, if the change you're embarking on involves you turning away from core beliefs and ethics that still resonate for you, this is a sign that you've probably gone too far.
  4. You consistently ignore what you want and need. In every relationship, there are times of negotiation and compromise. Sometimes you go with your partner's idea and other times you go with your own idea. When communication is respectful and effective, a solution doesn't end up feeling like "yours" or "your partner's," but as a combination of what you both want. It's a sign of imbalance when you consistently ignore or deny what you want or need in an effort to please your partner and maintain peace.
  5. You feel as if you've lost yourself. "I don't even know who I am anymore!" When you utter these words to yourself, it's likely that you've taken a change — or a changed way or living — too too far. Don't let your desire to make your partner happy or to impress a potential partner cause you to lose touch with your core essence.

By all means, stay open to change that allows you to expand and grow, but make sure you aren't throwing your precious core essence and what you value and hold most dear aside in the process.


You don't have to put yourself at risk to create a happy, healthy and connected relationship. Get ideas and advice for how to create Passionate Spark ~ Lasting Love in our free ebook.