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While there are additional challenges if you’re HIV positive, here is what you need to know.
By Susan Allan — Written on Apr 09, 2020
Dating can be difficult enough as it is but when you are living with HIV, finding love and cultivating a healthy relationship can seem impossible.
But everyone deserves a loving, joyous partnership!
And if you're HIV positive, then there are ways you can safely find a person who's just right for you, too.
You can find that perfect partner.
It's all about knowing where to look.
When you decide on exactly who you’re looking for, motivate that person to date you and see how wonderful you are, you also need to be able to manage a great relationship, too!
Here are 7 expert tips on how to find love when you're HIV positive so you can have a wonderful, loving relationship.
1. Know where to look to meet people.
There are a number of websites that specialize in HIV-positive singles.
Knowing where to meet someone who is wonderful and also HIV positive includes HIV-focused support groups and health conferences!
In addition to HIV-positive dating sites, remember that for decades before the Web existed, there were personal ads. HIV personals and HIV personal ads are still options in many newspapers and magazines.
As with any dating scenario, once you know where to look, the next step is gaining clarity on what you want in a partner.
2. Know what you want in a partner.
What are the key attributes that you need when you're looking for love?
Don't sell yourself short, either. Decide what's important when it comes to your partner’s appearance, education, career, financial stability, personality, etc.
Make sure you find someone who matches these qualities well.
3. Decide if you're going to only date other HIV-positive people.
It’s easiest if you decide to date people with HIV, though it’s not something that everyone decides to do.
Just be sure that if you’re dating someone who isn't in the HIV community that you share all the important facts, medical knowledge, and best safe sex practices, too.
4. Perfect your opening lines and communicate.
The next step after you've found someone you like is to determine what to say to a potential partner.
Having a good time while dating and meeting people as a single, HIV-positive person is the same as any other dating success. You must be able to motivate someone to find you to be the most desirable and interesting person for them.
Think about interesting ways to communicate your personality to them and hook them before you meet IRL.
5. Be prepared to discuss your HIV-positive status.
The topic of HIV will arise during the emails and phone calls before your first date, and you want to be sure that all the other attributes are in place for each person.
Still, HIV is only one of many life factors.
It doesn't need to take attention off of your stellar personality and sense of humor. Be aware that it will come up, but focus on happier things, too.
If you’re meeting on a site for people with HIV, then please don’t start the conversations with your medical history.
Decide on a good time for when to discuss your health and how to say what needs to be said.
However, do remember that you’re there for love, passion, and companionship first and foremost.
6. Commit to keeping yours and your partner's health a priority.
You need to become very skilled at “the talk” so that you create a peaceful and informative conversation, answer your new partner's questions, confirm that you're committed to your new partner’s health, and to love and life!
Please have "the talk" well before you find yourself in a sexual situation, and always be sure that you are both completely sober.
7. Don't feel concern over transmitting HIV while taking your medications.
Many HIV-positive partners who are with someone who is HIV negative worry or feel guilt about the possibility of transmitting HIV to their partner.
Please remember that most medical experts on HIV, including the CDC, state that it's not possible to pass on HIV through sex if you're taking the prescribed medications.
Keep checking this regularly, and be sure that you're always practicing safe sex. This way, you'll protect your partner and your relationship.
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Susan Allan is a certified mediator and communication expert who created The Marriage Forum, Inc. For complimentary one-hour private telephone coaching session, visit Heartspace®.