5 Reasons It’s Really Difficult For Men And Women To Be ‘Just Friends’

Is your best friend a guy?

By Esther Bilbao — Written on Sep 21, 2019

Photo: Tiago Felipe Ferreira via Unsplash

Can Men And Women Be Friends? Problems With Platonic Relationships Between Guys & Girls

Can men and women be friends and maintain a platonic friendship that won't resort into something romantic?

This is an interesting debate question the movie "When Harry Met Sally" brought up, and even concluded that men and women can't really be friends.

Of course, there will be some who will disagree with this, especially women who have guy friends or guy best friends.

Having a guy best friend and keeping that friendship platonic is what most girls want.

He can help you see things through a guy’s perspective. You will feel safe to go out late at night with him because you know that he’ll protect you. He can help you hook up with other guys and you can also help him hook up with other women.

Life seems perfect when you have a "friends without benefits" kind of platonic relationship with a guy. But in reality, it's not nor will it ever be that easy.

When you have a guy best friend, there are 5 things that can make your friendship difficult.

1. People think you're dating so you drive other guys away

No guy would want to compete with your guy best friend. They will see your guy best friend as a threat and will also feel insecure when the three of you are hanging out together.

The thoughts of you and your guy best friend having a romantic relationship or having hidden feelings will always crop up for the other guy and they will find that pursuing a relationship with you will just be complicated.

So, even if all you have with your guy best friend is a platonic love, most guys wouldn't bother approaching you because they assume that you are in a relationship.

2. Your new boyfriend probably hates your guy best friend

A boyfriend hating his girlfriend’s guy friend isn’t new. In fact, your new boyfriend might even hate your guy best friend from the start. They both want the best for you and maybe in different ways. That can be one of the reasons why they will not get along well.

Your new boyfriend might also see your guy best friend as a threat in your relationship or will even feel insecure and uncomfortable with your closeness to your guy best friend. He definitely would not want to see your guy best friend being too comfortable touching you.

3. There is a huge probability that attraction will exist between you

This might not exist at the start of your friendship, but as time goes by, as you share memories, get to know each other more, and become too comfortable with each other, romance may get into the picture.

You may end up falling for him or he may end up falling for you. Guys, on the other hand, tend to fall first for their girl best friend because they get the love and respect that they're looking for from their girl best friend.

However, it would not be an easy transition when romance enters your friendship. There would be a chance that your platonic friendship will get ruined because of this, especially when your feelings are not mutual.

4. You can’t cuddle your guy best friend

Most women are touchy and have body contact with their friends a lot. Men, on the other hand, don’t do cuddling. Although his intentions to you are pure, having your girly parts close to him might cause arousal, which is common in men.

To avoid having that awkward situation, you might need to treat your guy friend differently from female friends when it comes to cuddling or being too touchy.

5. Having a guy best friend may be nothing but trouble

We’re not concluding that men and women cannot be friends or even be best friends — this has worked out for some.