Going through a breakup is always difficult. There really is no "good" end to a relationship.
By Sherry Gaba — Written on Aug 31, 2012
After all that little, nagging voice inside your head is more than happy to keep reminding you that you have once again failed to find that perfect person.
The good news is that you will determine, at some point in time, that you are ready to enter back into the world of dating. Unfortunately too many people try to push themselves to get back into a relationship before they are mentally and emotionally ready. Sometimes these people are afraid of being alone, see their social status as a single as unacceptable or they succumb to peer pressure to get back out there and date.
With the end of a long term serious relationship you may need months to get back to a place where you are self-satisfied, happy and able to really evaluate how good of a prospective new partner a date may be. Look for these five signs in yourself that will let you know that you are in a good place to start dating again.
Sign 1: You Are Comfortable As A Single
You have to be comfortable with your own company to avoid accepting a relationship with just anyone. Sure, you may feel like you are missing having a companion and partner but you don't stay home and avoid going out just because you are single.
Sign 2: You Are Not Desperate To Find The Right One – Tonight!
If every time you go out you are looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right then you are not comfortable with yourself and you are looking for someone to fill in the gaps in your own emotional and spiritual being. This leaves you vulnerable to people that sense that need and take advantage of it.
Sign 3: You Are Able To Look Back On The Last Relationship Honestly
The breakup of most couples is not one sided. Both people had some role in the lack of communication, distance, lack of intimacy or whatever else caused the issue. Being able to admit responsibility allows you to change to prevent that in future relationships.
Sign 4: You Know What You Want And What You Don't
This includes more than the physical, you know the personality and character traits you want in a partner as well as those that you don't. You are able to say "no" to a relationship that is not what you want.
Sign 5: You See The Person For What They Are
Sure, love really is blind, especially when the brain chemicals are going crazy at the first part of the relationship. When you are in a solid emotional state you are able to still see the person honestly and accept him or her just as they are, not as a "fixer-upper".
Taking a bit of time to get yourself in a good place emotionally and mentally after the end of a relationship will help you in finding that perfect match in your future.
Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of “The Law of Sobriety” which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your free E books at www.sherrygaba.com Contact Sherry for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on “A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba”on CBS Radio. Are you a Love Addict? Take Sherry's quiz for a free eBook Filling the Empty Heart: 5 Keys to Transforming Love Addiction.