Lonely? Try Dating Outside Your Race!


"I'm in search of Mr. Good Bar and I want him to be chocolate!"

That's what a self assured, African-American client announced while she was sitting on my couch 3 years ago. She was desperately lonely, at her wits end and looking for love. I decided to ask her if she'd ever given white-chocolate a try. After all, it's just as tasty and satisfying as dark chocolate once you get past the color.

The quest to find love is as old as the fairy tales we've read about; knights in shining armor coming to save damsels in distress and a kiss turning a frog into a prince. But alas, if finding love were as easy as reading fairy tales, we'd all be in better shape. The truth is, it's rough out here for various reasons I'll write about at a later date. Why make a challenging situation even harder by erecting the added barriers of race and ethnicity?

In 1958, only 4% of Americans approved of interracial relationships and today over 79% are on board the colorful love train and approving of interracial unions. Of course, you don't need anyone's approval to do what you want in a free country, but I'm just saying, things have changed and it's time for everyone to take note of the bold print on the bumper sticker of life: Life is short, find love! 10 Tips For Finding Love In the New Year

Love has no color, yet it colors the gray zones of our lives like nothing else does. Between the endless stream of television ads, magazines and billboards, we're either being sold or marketed to 24/7/365. And sadly, there are some that "buy" into the outdated notion that there's only one size available in the boutique of love. In reality there are multiple sizes, colors and textures to try on and explore!

All we need to do is open our eyes to the possibilities and in an instant we double, or even triple in some cases, our chances to find love and happiness. Let's face it, the two generally go hand in hand!

The older I get the more I see that loneliness is a choice in most cases. Outside of being trapped on a baron glacier in the North Pole, the majority of us have more option to find love than we take time to imagine.

Before my move to the east coast, I lived in Milwaukee, Wisconsin for a number of years. I had exclusively dated black men before my move to the land of beer and cheese. Let's just say there were more eligible black bears in the area than black men. I shudder to think of my love-fate had I not quickly hit a smart rock and began to accept some of those dinner invitations extended by my white chocolate counterparts.

My days in Milwaukee helped me realize that love is a lot like chocolate. White chocolate, milk chocolate, dark all taste good if you keep your mind and heart open to sampling the variety available! New Year, New Possibilites, & Overcoming the Same Fears

Here’s to recovering from loneliness and exploring all our love options in 2012!