Love, Self

5 Ways Lovers Can Bring Life Into Their Dull Relationship

Does it seem like your partner is not interested in you? You don’t get those texts you used to get asking how your day is going. You don’t remember the last time he seemed super turned on and wanted to have sex with you. Maybe he barely even says hello when he walks through the door.

You try to do special things, plan nice dinners and outings he will enjoy, perhaps buy him small gifts or do little special things for him around the house, hoping and waiting for him to come around and notice how great you are.

And it doesn’t work. You just continue to be the invisible woman, hurt, and confused and wondering how to get him back.

Well, lovers I’ve got news for you: Your man doesn’t want a partner who orbits around him. He wants YOU!! He fell in love with you for who you are, your passions and your quirks and that’s what is going to get his attention.

Here’s the rule: People can only love and enjoy you as much as you love and enjoy yourself. Try these 5 things and breathe life back into your relationship.

1. Stop trying to charm him and start charming the pants off yourself! Go back to thinking about what you enjoy and start engaging in your life from there. Enjoy whatever activity you love during your free time, which now includes the time he’s around. For example, if you used to really enjoy listening to music around the house and maybe even singing and dancing around, do it! If you use to get into elaborate cooking project with a glass of wine, do that! Absolutely anything from reading to creating new hairstyles, if you enjoy it, DO IT!!

2. Get out into the community. Take a class (dance, art, cooking, or ANYTHING that you would enjoy) make plans with friends, go to some events (talks, shows, movies, art openings, live music, or, you guessed it, ANYTHING that you would enjoy!)

3. If you want to attract him to you sexually, start turning yourself on. Wear things that you feel sexy wearing and spend a little extra time making yourself look sexy. Don't be afraid to get your sexy on anytime, even when your cleaning the house. He will sense this vibe. You're more likely going to successfully get his attention if your feeling sexy inside, as opposed to trying to look sexy for him.

4. Blend when you're busy. If you’re tied to the home and don’t have a lot of freedom because you’re with your children, start engaging more deeply with them. There are a lot of fun things to do with your children both at home and in the community. When you start actively engaging with them and making it really fun, you’re not only going to be more fun to be around, you're developing invaluable neural and heart connections that help lay down or solidify the foundation for healthy social and cognitive development. And hopefully, you’re developing a closer relationship with them that feels good. Your man should both appreciate and want to join in family time especially if it looks like fun.

5. Share the celebration. Lastly, invite your man to join you in your good times and don’t take it personally if he declines. Be persistent in enjoying yourself.

If you find your life is changing for the better and you’re beginning to feel good about yourself, but your partner still acts like the walking dead around you, tell him how you feel. Tell him you miss him and you miss the connection. It could be there’s something else going on for him and it’s worth seeking the counsel of a couples therapist to get to the bottom of it.