6 Online Dating Tips For The Marriage-Minded Single

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Love

If you're online dating in a genuine pursuit of a relationship, you may be wondering, "Why is love so hard to find?"

It’s unfortunate that many who surf the web looking for love often wind up feeling disheartened about ever finding what they most deeply desire, especially for the marriage-minded single.

Some people go to great lengths to present themselves well in their profiles, while others don’t seem to really care by vaguely filling in their profiles.

Quality profiles immediately stand out because of their attention to detail and the quality and selection of photos. But, you learn most about a person when you read the full profile.

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Marriage-minded people may instinctively embrace the importance of a stellar profile, but they don’t always know how to write a profile that will attract a quality person.

The idea of revealing a desire for marriage may be a bit embarrassing and not evident in that profile.

Nonetheless, a great profile that speaks to the kind of person that you desire to attract is key.

You may attract a person you deem not the kind of person you want to meet. And there will always be those who are in no way a match for you, and who send you a wink or message regardless. It’s your job to weed through inappropriate matches.

However, you can create an introduction spelling out your goals for dating that will pique the interest of quality singles with a similar mindset and the kind of person you want to meet

Your task isn’t to please everyone or to ward off the "undesirables" with a list of things you don’t want in a mate.

Your goal is to find a way to be a magnet for the needle in the haystack by creating your desired intention.

Who are you trying to attract? How can you authentically present yourself to capture that person’s attention?

You have to be clear about whom you want to attract but that’s not always as easy as it sounds.

The feeling of "endless choices" created by online dating can actually muddle your thought process. Some people think that "There’s always something better out there" and the "No strings" option often ends up being the default choice.

Here are 6 online dating tips for the marriage-minded single.

1. Put yourself in your ideal partner’s shoes.

If your ideal partner were to read your profile, how would they recognize you as their ideal match? A

s logical as this may sound, many people don’t consider flipping the table to consider their profiles from their desired mates’ perspectives.

You essentially have a couple of paragraphs to put out to the world in an effort to attract "the one." Your message needs to be clear, intriguing, genuine, and targeted if you want to draw in the right person.

2. Share what you value, not just what you do.

Your online dating profile isn’t a job interview. Sure, someone who’s intrigued by you will be curious enough about what you do for work or how you spend your free time.

However, this won’t be their primary concern. Focus instead on your life goals and your most prominent and positive character traits.

Do you want to get married and have a family? Or do you want a committed long-term relationship and with whom you have someone to travel the world?

Someone who is also interested in a committed relationship will not only be concerned with what you do for a living but more importantly, how you live and what gives your life purpose.

3. Be honest about what you're seeking.

The worst thing you can do on your profile is misrepresenting yourself. All the online dating profile advice in the world can’t make up for lying about what you want in terms of a relationship.

No, you don’t need to — and shouldn’t — have the wedding planned. But, if you know that your goal in dating is to find the right person with whom to spend the rest of your life, you have to make that clear in your intentions.

Don’t be afraid of scaring someone away. Know that the right person won’t be dissuaded that easily!

If you're not sure, say so. If you simply want to enjoy companionship with a nice person, say so.

And if all you want out of dating is sex… well… most people would rather know that upfront than being hurt by the deception and dashed hopes later.

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4. Focus on character, not characteristics.

Listing off a laundry list can be a huge turnoff to most people, as it makes the person seem superficial and impossible to please.

Infer the qualities you find attractive by focusing on those character qualities that matter most to you. Instead of saying that your match "needs to be physically fit", mention your own passion for outdoor adventures and being active.

Also, you can include a photo of you running a local marathon. Allow your reader to fill in the blanks by putting together the mental image of what your life is like and they might fit into it.

Thoughtfully expressing your values is a very attractive trait, as it shows depth, vulnerability, and possible trustworthiness.

5. Polish your profile.

Remember those teachers who used to say, "Spelling and grammar count" — and they weren’t even English teachers? Well, they were right. It does count.

First of all, intelligence is very attractive. And paying attention to accuracy shows you care enough to take the time to have a flawless presentation.

When someone "dumps and sends", it’s as if this person arrived to a date with wrinkled clothes and food spots on their shirt!

By presenting a "complete and flawless" profile, you deliver the subliminal message that you truly care about what and how you communicate. And self-accountability is a big plus for the marriage-minded single.

It’s just one of the many ways that your ideal match will be evaluating your relationship potential.

If you're too lazy to use spell-check, then are you someone that they can depend on when you sign a lease or go for a joint bank loan for a mortgage?

Will you always assume your partner will expect you to clean up their mess and will take care of everything in life for them?

It’s always a good idea to put your profile through quality control before you post it. Asking a few trusted friends of both genders to review your profile can provide helpful feedback.

6. Consider a niche site.

In order to increase your odds of finding a similarly-minded match, why not try a dating site that caters to marriage-minded singles?

Also, by putting your profile on paid sites, you're demonstrating that you take your search seriously and are willing to invest in your future. And you can expect the same from most everyone else there.

Or you can choose a niche site based upon your religion, ethnicity, or country of origin. You can choose a site where you share a particular interest such as yoga, classical music, or politics!

There are thousands of dating sites and apps available today.

Remember, if you're marriage-minded and committed to that dream, then you're the one holding the key to your future.

If you want to stand out to your ideal match, then make your profile stand out. There's always someone who matches your values and the intentions you put out to the Universe.

Given all this effort this may take, you’ll see that there’s a person out there for you who’s worth all this effort.

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Amy Schoen is a D.C.-based national expert in dating and relationship life coaching. If you’re ready to stop spinning your wheels with online dating and finally find your true love, then download her free online dating checklist and see how you stack up with your online dating profile.

This article was originally published at Motivated to Marry. Reprinted with permission from the author.