Self

10 Critical Lessons I Learned From Binge Eating Disorder Treatment And Recovery

Photo: saje, ninafirsova, Nicolas Menijes | Canva
Happy plus size woman, with a wonderful relationship with food

My self-esteem was at an all-time low. I felt tortured and thought I was a failure as I repeatedly binged on food while rapidly gaining weight.

My family worried about my health, and I felt ... hopeless.

It wasn't until my mom staged an intervention that I finally realized I needed outside help with the problem I thought was my weight. To the Internet, I went. I wasn't sure what I was searching for, but I knew it wasn't for conventional weight loss programs because I’d already tried them all.

RELATED: What Do You Say When Your Daughter Asks If She Looks Fat?

I ventured into eating disorder cyberspace and came across the term binge eating disorder (BED), which, to my shock, described my behavior perfectly.

Critical lessons from binge eating disorder treatment and recovery

The National Eating Disorders Association classifies BED as the most common eating disorder in the United States.

"Binge eating disorder (BED)," they explain, "is a severe, life-threatening, and treatable eating disorder characterized by recurrent episodes of eating large quantities of food (often very quickly and to the point of discomfort); a feeling of a loss of control during the binge; experiencing shame, distress or guilt afterward; and not regularly using unhealthy compensatory measures (e.g., purging) to counter the binge eating."

Could it be possible, I wondered, that I had an eating disorder?

I called an eating disorders treatment center and the phone screening resulted in my eventual diagnosis of BED, after which I entered a 5-week long day treatment program.

My first day of binge eating disorder treatment was so emotional and scary, but thankfully, it led me to have an important epiphany.

I realized I wasn't a failure because I couldn't lose weight or stick to a weight-loss diet. In truth, I had a mental health disorder, and it was hindering both my emotional and physical well-being.

Binge eating and being overweight were symptoms of much larger concerns I had in other areas of my life.

So after years of struggling, I finally began my journey to recovery.

RELATED: What I Want My Friends And Family To Know About My Eating Disorder

Here are 10 life-changing lessons about treatment for and recovery from binge eating disorder:

1. I used food as a coping mechanism.

I used food to cope with difficult feelings resulting from traumas in my childhood, yo-yo dieting deprivation, and a life that was stressful and unfulfilling.

2. Recovery from BED is not about losing weight. It's about creating a healthy relationship with food.

This was the hardest concept to wrap my head around! A slow, mindful, intuitive, balanced, and non-restrictive approach to eating is the way to develop a healthy relationship with food.

3. Identifying your emotions is hard, but well worth the effort.

Once I did, I started to find my true self. And I've discovered that I'm pretty awesome just the way I am!

RELATED: 5 Truly Terrible Reasons People Go On Diets — And What You Should Do Instead

4. Learning how to stop binge eating doesn't mean finding the "right" diet.

Weight loss diets and crash diets do not work. Period.

5. BED recovery takes a village.

No one can recover alone. The best friend I made during treatment remains my lifeline. Be sure to find someone you can trust and depend on.

6. Blaming, shaming, and hating yourself will never serve you.

Beating yourself up results in internal bruises that are pretty tough to heal.

RELATED: 5 Reasons Why Fat Shaming Totally Doesn't Work

7. In the grand scheme of things, what you weigh really doesn't matter.

The number on the scale is not the most important thing in life.

8. Learning how to stop binge eating is a process.

Transformation and recovery from an eating disorder is an ongoing practice. It doesn't happen on a perfect or straight path.

9. Take care of yourself because of how it makes you feel, not how you think it might change the way you look.

Do things like eating healthy or exercising because you feel good, not because you should and not because you think the end result will have anything to do with what you weigh or how you look.

10. Recovery and transformation are possible.

It's absolutely possible to heal your relationship with food.

RELATED: Why I Gave Up On Diets And Started Listening To My Body

Overcoming binge eating disorder served as a catalyst for me to change my life completely.

I now deal with emotions without using food, which I practice every day. I left my job and am pursuing my passion for helping others overcome emotional eating issues. I moved South where the gray days of winter turned into yellow, sunny ones. My relationships are better.

And I've learned how to live life without binge eating in order to cope with the inevitable times when it all feels like a struggle.

Recovering from my eating disorder was a roller-coaster ride filled with tears, laughter, amazing women, a supportive family, profound realizations, deep soul-searching, joy, and success — and I wouldn't change a thing about it.

RELATED: 10 Shameful Myths About Fat Women And Obesity You've Probably Always Believed Were True

Eating disorders are very common. According to the ANAD (Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders), eating disorders affect 9 percent of the population worldwide, and 28.8 million Americans will have an eating disorder in their lifetime. Eating disorders disproportionately affect BIOPC, LGBTQ+, and people with disabilities.

Second to only opioid overdose, eating disorders are among the deadliest mental illnesses with 10,200 deaths each year as the direct result of an eating disorder — that’s one death every 52 minutes. If you or a loved one are struggling with disordered eating, contact the National Eating Disorder Helpline’s toll-free phone number: 1-800-931-2237.

Michelle Wilson is a Certified Emotional Eating Coach who is a transformed binge eater herself. Her mission is to help her clients uncover why they eat in order to better understand destructive eating habits and provide tools for healing ongoing eating and weight issues for good.