Michael Bates, MD - Expert

About Michael Bates

Meet the OB/GYN who is changing the conversation on aging and sexuality.

Dr. Michael Bates practiced OB/GYN for 34 years until his retirement from private practice in 2011. He served as Medical Director for Planned Parenthood, Wichita (1977-1979), president of the Medical Society of Sedgwick County (1999), and president of Central Plains Regional Health Care Foundation (2000).

Due to the time demands of his clinical practice, he sometimes hesitated to bring up sexual issues with patients because of the time that might be required. There was always a long list of patients waiting, babies to be delivered, or a surgery to be performed.

“I didn’t always do as well as I could have with sexuality,” he says.

Dr. Bates later faced the challenges of aging, illness and sexuality firsthand following treatment for prostate cancer. While the treatment was successful, it resulted in challenges with ED. He and his wife had to learn to navigate these challenges as a team.

X’s and O’s: The Sexual Wellness Resource Center for Adults 50+

Motivated by these experiences, Dr. Bates co-founded X’s and O’s, an online sexual wellness resource center for adults 50+. The site offers articles and guides on sexual health, wellness and relationships, with the goal of helping older adults enjoy sexual wellbeing at ages 50, 60, 70, 80 and beyond! Dr. Bates directs X’s and O’s in partnership with his wife, Carolina, who is a professor of linguistics and masters of psychology.

Why the focus on sex over 50? Sexual dysfunction becomes more common after 50. Menopause can bring changes that can make sex uncomfortable, decrease libido and increase difficulty in reaching orgasm. For many men over 50, erectile dysfunction (ED) becomes a problem. There are solutions—you don’t have to close the door on sexuality.

This is also the point in life when many people begin to have more time and privacy for sex, along with the self-assuredness that age and experience brings. It can be a time of freedom and spontaneity to nurture and enjoy your sexuality!

The X’s and O’s Store: A Senior Sex Positive Shopping Experience

The X’s and O’s Store offers a welcoming, comfortable place to shop online for sexual aids and sex toys, free of graphic ads. While all adults are welcome to shop, it is one of the only online sex toy stores specifically designed for seniors!

Sex toys can not only add some spice, but they are valuable tools to manage the sexual challenges of aging. Vibrators, for example, can provide the strong, consistent and extended stimulation that many older women (and men!) need for arousal and orgasm.

Solo and partnered individuals, men and women, will find thoughtfully curated, quality sexual aids and toys at the X’s and O’s Store.