7 Easily Avoidable Relationship Mistakes Men Make (That Cause Women To Lose Interest)

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relationship mistakes

Virtually, every man who has been in a love relationship has experienced his partner coming at him with critical emotion at one time or another.

Often, the "attack" feels completely unwarranted. But, understanding why women attack the men they love so you can respond without a fight is critical to a healthy and happy relationship — and will keep your partner from losing interest, too.

Are you ready to take off your protective gear and feel safe in the presence of your loved one? Avoid the fight by not making these relationship mistakes. 

So, why do women attack the men they love?

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Both men and women can go on the attack in love relationships when they feel hurt, let down, or unloved. But more often than not, a pattern gets established where the woman uses a verbal attack to get the man she loves to emotionally engage with her.

She will often apply exaggerated words like "never" or "always" to describe his unfeeling behavior. Her tone is often critical and the intensity of her emotion can sound too harsh or manipulative.

When women attack men, they don’t realize how they sound and how harmful and futile their attacks are. They do not know how much they are frightening the man they love. 

When her emotional expression results in her partner’s shutting down or walking away, she assumes that she is being ignored and that he really doesn't care about what she is feeling.

This sets off a primitive survival alarm — the fight-or-flight instinct. He takes flight in order to save his life. And she reacts by fighting to try to get to the bottom of his lack of compassion.

Our primary love relationships are critical for our emotional and physical health. We quickly begin to regress when we sense that they are in danger.

Sadly, this can be an everyday cycle for many couples. It's frustrating, confusing and painful. And it's a lose-lose scenario. It pulls the relationship apart, causing one or both partners to lose interest, rather than strengthening the marital bond.

Avoid this dangerous relationship cycle by understanding 7 triggers that often make women feel unloved and could lead to a loss of interest:

1. You say "Hello" in an emotionally flat tone.

Even though you are tired and stressed out, she wants to know that you look forward to seeing her.

So, acknowledge that it is great to be home with her before you unpack your emotions from the day.

2. You leave her alone at a social event.

Whether they're an introvert or extrovert, women do want to be with their guy at a social event. There may be times when it makes sense to separate to get caught up with an old friend or to a business network.

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If you check in before you separate and then circle back, she will feel connected rather than rejected.

3. You ignore her or make fun of her when she's afraid.

A lot of men like the adventure of cycling, hiking, kayaking, or speeding. The more she trusts you, the faster you can go without triggering her fear response.

And the more responsive you are to her fears, the more you can enjoy the rush of adrenaline together.

4. You are more animated and have more fun with friends than with her.

This sends a signal that she is not as interesting to you as other people are.

Bring her into fun conversations with others. Find creative ways to keep the fun alive between the two of you.

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5. You don't stand up for her in front of your children.

This makes her feel dis-empowered and can cause the kids to play favorites.

Always stand with her in front of the children. Discuss disagreements behind closed doors. Apologize to the kids together when you are wrong.

6. You drink more than she feels safe with.

You are not the best judge of whether you are drinking too much. If she feels embarrassed or unsafe by your drinking, it is too much even if it is only two drinks.

Learn to listen to her and pull back when she says you are no longer pleasant.

7. You betray her.

Not telling her the truth or becoming emotionally or physically involved with another person fractures the relationship. Trust is the foundation of all love relationships. This causes a deep wound of insecurity that leads to her being hyper-vigilant and questioning your every move.

Humbly admit your betrayal, ask for forgiveness and compassionately respond to her need for reassurance. Eventually, the relationship may be able to heal on its own. If not, find a therapist who can help the two of you process this strong emotion.

All relationships require a great deal of tender loving care. Without it, they can easily spiral into boredom, disconnection, and betrayal. Loving compassion holds the bond of marriage together. Without it, the relationship will feel like an empty business arrangement.

Your love relationship is your most important source of stability, self-esteem, and prosperity. If you put your relationship with your partner as the priority, you will profit in more ways than you can imagine.

RELATED: 5 Powerful Types Of Trust Every Relationship Needs (Including Yours!)

Michael W. Regier, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist and certified emotionally focused couples therapist and EFT supervisor, seeing clients within California via the Internet or in his San Luis Obispo office. He helps couples find and maintain healthy relationships. He and his wife Paula are authors of the book Emotional Connection: The Story & Science of Preventing Conflict & Creating Lifetime Love.

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This article was originally published at MichaelRegier.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.