Why Learning To 'Receive' In A Relationship Is The Communication Skill You Didn't Know You Needed

Photo: unsplash
How To Improve Your Communication Skills & Learn How To Receive Love In Your Relationship

One of the most difficult parts of communicating in a relationship is learning to receive — that is, positive words, kind acts, or even love from your partner. This is especially true if your communication style is different because of how you were raised; perhaps not to express emotion or strong feelings, or to be able to get them from a partner or friend either.

Everyone is familiar with the saying, "It is better to give than to receive," but in a relationship, giving and receiving with effective communication skills are equally important.

RELATED: 6 Most Common Marriage Problems Women Have With Their Husbands, According To Couples Therapists

These days, people have perfected the art of independence to the point that even when you need help, you won't take it. This can cause a breakdown in verbal communication and interfere with your relationship.

For instance, my dad taught me how to do a lot of things by myself. I learned to change a tire, fix things that broke down, change a light bulb, kill, and prepare animals for food, choose my own path and make my own decisions.

His mission was so that I wouldn't need a man for things like that. From a male perspective, that makes a lot of sense because men are taught how to be independent and self-reliant. This was his way of showing love; it was his communication style.

The worst part about that approach is, however, that it doesn't work in a relationship, which I discovered later.

When I got married, my husband wanted the joy of providing for me. He wanted to fix things, carry heavy bags, lock the doors, and even ensure that I was covered at night. I took all those gifts as interfering with my system. I wanted him to appreciate how capable I was ... except it made him feel unloved.

This was a block in our communication and it proved difficult to receive love when we interpreted what the other was doing to give love was actually hurtful.

Fortunately, I started to appreciate and enjoy receiving from him. I know I deserve it and just being grateful for it is enough. I now love receiving compliments and praise. I appreciate being admired.

As this is an ongoing expansion, recently I noticed that I felt uncomfortable when I was thanked for doing something good or kind for someone.

This, I realized, was another way that I needed to learn to communicate with myself. It was also a refusal to receive.

RELATED: This Type Of Communication May Be Hurting Your Relationship

In your journey to create love, you'll discover that love isn't all about giving or asking. Next to asking, receiving is one of those things many women find difficult to do.

To receive is to "... take into one's possession something offered or delivered."

When you give a gift, even if you didn't do it to be praised, you need to allow the person who is receiving from you to give back with their gratitude. It is the ebb and flow of life. This communication style will allow you to learn to be much happier and confident with yourself.

I am now happy to receive gratitude from other people because I know it gives them joy and it's opening up their connection to communicate with the universe. They will then receive more and more of the good that life has to offer!

Receiving requires you to open your heart, have faith, and allow others to be of service to you. Receiving is also an acceptance of love into your life. Even though it may feel uncomfortable, it is a manifestation of grace. By allowing people to communicate their gratitude to you, and allowing yourself to receive that love and gratitude, you're going to open yourself to more positive experiences.

Receiving from your mate, children, sisters, brothers, colleagues, and others is an act of love; you're allowing them to experience the joy of giving.

When you refuse to receive, you create blocks of sedentary energy in the universe, which isn't good for anyone. As a woman, if you want to create love then you need to allow yourself to receive all the goodness of the world. This will transform your life in the most joyful manner.

RELATED: Want Your Relationship To Be Better? Stop Making This Communication Mistake

Melody Chadamoyo is a certified law of attraction and relationship coach who wants to empower women in their marriages and relationships. For more information about how she can help you, reach her at her website.

This article was originally published at Heart Passion Institute. Reprinted with permission from the author.