By Marla Martenson — Written on Oct 23, 2010
One of the questions that I am frequently asked from women is, "Are these men really serious about finding someone or do they just want an arm piece?" I am convinced that everyone is looking for their true love. It may not always seem like it when you go on date after date and nothing seems to come of it. So naturally some women wonder if guys are serious or just looking for a good time.
Since men are visual it only makes sense that when plunking down thousands of dollars for a matchmaking service that they would chose the one that offers good looking slender women. It’s the same thing as if a woman had the choice of meeting successful men or men who are broke. But I still meet women who have a hard time accepting the fact that looks are the first thing a man is interested in. A man is just not going to approach a woman that he does not find attractive and say “Hi, my name is Jim, you look like you have a beautiful soul and a brilliant mind, would you like to have dinner sometime?”
Men are visual creatures, they are hardwired that way and there is nothing that we can do about it. To actually become aroused and his “apparatus” work he needs to like what he sees, become excited visually. Most men will not become excited looking at flab and cellulite. Why do you think that we see all of the celebrities with the hottest women in Hollywood and not some nice, plump plain Jane? Exactly! It’s the reason that advertising agencies hire gorgeous models to sell everything from cosmetics, shampoo, cars, clothing, perfume and even hamburgers to name a few. Now, all of us are not blessed with the gene pool of say Cameron Diaz, Heidi Klum or Eva Longoria, but we can still get our behinds to the gym or around the block a few times per day and cut out the junk food. Staying slim and trim is probably the most important thing that you can do to help insure that you will attract a man and then keep him interested once you do.
The way we physically look affects our ability to attract and keep a partner. A man can tell if he is physically interested in a woman in the first three minutes of meeting her. For men, attraction occurs on a biological level. He wants to know that his can successfully pass on his genes, which is why men generally are attracted to younger women. For women, the man that is attractive to her is the one who can provide food, shelter and take care of the family, which is why women are often attracted to older men.
Staying slim and trim is also one of the most important things that you can do for your health. Did you know that high blood pressure is twice as common in overweight people? Or that your risk of arthritis increases 9-13% for every 2 pounds of weight you gain, or that gaining as little as 11-18 pounds doubles your chance of developing type 2 diabetes, or that women who gain more than 20 pounds between the age of 18 and midlife double the risk of developing breast cancer after menopause? So the benefits of staying in shape cover all aspects of a woman’s life. Of course you don’t want to obsess about it either or beat yourself up. I’m sure you all know one of those women who are about the size of a twig but still think that they’re fat. Or one who just turned twenty-nine and whines, “I’m so old!” Puh-leeeze! Looking and feeling healthy, fit, strong and sexy is the goal to aspire to.
Eating healthy can be a challenge for women on the go but you can do it. If you stick to what Deepak Chopra says “Avoid eating anything with a label on it” you will be doing great! Here are some great tips that you should try if you are not already doing them. Invest in a juicer and make wonderful fresh vegetable and fruit juices right at home. Drink plenty of filtered water. Sodas of any kind are terrible for your health and should be cut out of your diet. Drink green tea daily. Green tea has powerful antioxidants, catechins that have been shown to fight viruses, slow aging, reduce high blood pressure, lower blood sugar, and help prevent cancer. Green tea also boosts the immune system and also helps prevent tooth decay. Avoid eating fried foods and start incorporating olive oil into your diet.
If you want to sweeten coffee, cereal, smoothies etc. skip the refined sugar, use stevia instead. It can be purchased at any health food store. Stevia is sweeter than sugar and it is a non-caloric herb native to Paraguay and has been used as a sweetener and flavor enhancer for centuries. Cut animal products out of your diet. They are loaded with saturated fats, hormones and antibiotics. If you don’t feel that you can cut them out completely, try to cut down to a couple of times per week. Your body and the animals will thank-you. I also eat Goji berries everyday. You can buy them at any health food store. The Goji berry is a complete protein loaded with 18 amino acids including all 8 essential amino acids, they contain over 20 trace minerals and vitamins including iron, zinc, copper, B complex, vitamin C and E.
Slowly making healthy and smart changes will get you and keep you on the road to looking and feeling great which of course will result in attracting a soul mate! So to answer the original question, “Does he just want an arm piece?” In a way yes!
But that is not all our brothers are looking for in a woman. When interviewing men these are five other qualities that are top on their list in a perfect partner:
1. Intelligence. She doesn’t necessarily have to have a college degree as long as she is bright and can have a stimulating conversation. A woman can be stunning in the looks department but if she doesn’t know whom our vice president is, or where Portugal is located in the map, he won’t be inclined to take her to his upscale events with his business associates.
2. Easy going. Men love a woman who can go with the flow. Not always complaining, and who is open to trying new things. If he takes you to an opera or a football game and you can’t see straight from boredom, try to pretend you like it and appreciate his efforts in doing something nice for you.
3. She has her own interests. A man likes to know that a woman has things that she is passionate about and involved in other that him. It also gives you lots to talk about at the dinner table.
4. Up on current events. Men love a woman who knows what is going on in the world. Women in their twenties don’t tend to keep up with current events as much as the older gals, but at least find out who the major movers and shakers on the world stage are and get an overview of what’s going on.
5. Good sense of humor. Being able to laugh and not take yourself too seriously is so important in a good relationship.
So, as you can see, men are generally looking for the whole “package.” Good looks only won’t get you very far.