Holiday Breakup Survival Guide

Healing Heart

Whether your summer breakup still stings, your fall heartbreak feels fresh, or your holiday heartache has yet to happen, one thing’s for sure. The holiday season is here and dealing with a broken heart can be especially tough during these “feel good” months. After all, there are holiday gatherings to attend, mistletoe to stand under (GASP – alone!), and happy couples cozying up to one another wherever you turn. 

Even with your broken heart, you can still enjoy the holidays this year. Here are some tried and true tips for surviving and thriving the holiday season following a breakup:

1. Focus on friends and family.
Instead of obsessing about what went wrong with your ex, focus your energy and attention on your friends and family. You are loved by many people! You may just need to tweak your perspective. Take some time this holiday season to reconnect with old friends, tell a family member how much you love them, and in turn heal your broken heart.

2. Pamper yourself.
Think of all the money you’re saving by being single this holiday season! No ungrateful ex to shop for, no annoying in-laws to visit, no ridiculous lovers’ spats after one too many cups of eggnog. This holiday season, celebrate your single status by pampering yourself. Spend a day at the spa. Splurge a little on gifts for yourself. Decorate your home to your heart’s content. Whatever floats your boat, you’re footloose and fancy free to do it!

3. Reserve the right to say “None of your bees-wax!”
Nosy relatives asking too many questions about What went wrong? Well-meaning but intrusive friends trying to tell you what to do next time? This holiday season, your breakup is nobody’s business but your own. So when someone sidles up to you with a gossip gleam in their eye and asks, “So where’s what’s his name?” reserve the right to protect your healing heart. Simply smile and say, “None of your business.” Or, if you’re so inclined, choose a more radical response, i.e. “I shipped him off to Iraq for the new year,” or “He’s contemplating his bad behavior from behind ex-boyfriend bars.” This holiday season, put your healing heart first and put a stop to those nosey questions about the breakup.

4. Become your own arm candy.
After a breakup, it’s sometimes difficult to get used to going to parties alone again. The holiday season makes it even tougher because there are so many parties to go to. Instead of fretting about all those outings by yourself, celebrate being single by being your own arm candy! Before going to the party, stop by the mall makeup counter and get a professional makeover. Wear that saucy red dress and stiletto boots. (Or if you’re a guy, invest in that cologne that makes women weak at the knees, or buy a new sweater or blazer that makes you feel like the hunk o’ man you are). Then walk into the party like you own the room. Go ahead - give yourself permission to be your own arm candy!

5. Give yourself permission to celebrate your slump.
There will be times this holiday season when you won’t feel like celebrating. Times when you will want to mourn the loss of your past relationship. And that’s okay. Give yourself permission to turn down a party invitation or two in favor of curling up with a good book, a glass of wine, or your favorite sappy movie in your pajamas at home. The best way to truly move on after a breakup is to first celebrate your slump. And if you want to celebrate your slump all season long? That’s your prerogative. Go for it!

For help surviving and thriving following your breakup this holiday season, pick up a copy of my book It's A Breakup, Not A Breakdown: Get Over The Big One And Change Your Life For Good

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