All you want is for your children to be happy and safe.
By Lianne Avila
Last updated on Mar 07, 2024
We all want our kids to be happy. We try to give them everything we didn't have as a child. We sign them up for sports, music lessons, and art classes. We want them to be creative and outgoing. We want them to have a good group of friends and be knowledgeable. But, sometimes, this can come at a cost. I see many children in my practice — I'm overbooked these days. I think a lot of parents mean well, but they push their kids too hard. This can cause a kid to feel anxious or not good enough.
I know, as a parent, that this is the last thing you want. Children are happy by nature. They don't have the pressure of the world on their shoulders. They can experience happiness through the small things in life. They enjoy learning and seeing new places, like the grocery store if they haven't been. Enjoy your child while they are still at home. They will grow up quickly. Here are five parenting tips to help you raise happy children.
Here are 5 tiny things parents do that result in happy kids:
1. They play with their child
Play is your child's language. I mean get on the ground and play with them. Take delight in playing with your child. You can play at the park or play a board game inside. When parents play with their children, it helps their self-esteem.
2. They allow their child to do things for themselves
This will give them a sense of independence. I know this is hard sometimes, but it helps teach them that making mistakes is alright. Think back to the first time you successfully made cookies or candy. Maybe, it took a few times to get it right. But, in the end, you felt good. This is the feeling you want your child to have. It will help them as they get older to try new things.
3. They set limits for their child
You don't have to be the parent that says "yes" to everything. Most children don't like to go to bed or do their chores. This doesn't mean you let them out of it. It's alright if they get upset with you. You're the parent, not their friend at this time. You want to teach your child responsibility. Make sure they know what is expected and that you set a schedule. This will help your child feel safe and secure.
4. They read to their child
You can read to them at bedtime. Make it part of your nightly routine. They will look forward to it and you will, too. You can also read to them when they get home from school, or any other time during the day. Just, make time for it. This will help them learn and it creates a bond between you and your child. Let them help with picking the stories.
5. They make time for themselves
As a parent, it's easy to put yourself last. You need to spend time doing things that you find fun and fulfilling. Even when you find your time stretched thin, add a little time for yourself, even if it's only ten minutes. Take a bubble bath, go for a walk, or watch a comedy. This will help make you happy. And what children need most are happy parents.
As a parent, I'm sure you're doing the best you can. Nobody expects you to be perfect. We all make mistakes. I always tell my clients, "What makes a good parent is a parent who makes mistakes." This will let your child know it's alright to make mistakes. Remember, to go easy on yourself. When you had your child it didn't come with an instruction manual. Talk to your friends and family about your children. Don't be scared to let them know what mistakes you've made, and ask for help. A lot of the time, they are going through the same thing.
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Lianne Avila is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a practice in San Mateo, CA. Her work has been featured in Psych Central, BRIDES, and Prevention.