If You Want To Be Confident, Stop Trying & Actually Do It — Here's How

You have the power to change everything!

how to be confident getty

It’s absolutely true that confidence opens doors, but how do you go about getting it? What determines if you truly feel that euphoric "everything is going to be okay no matter what" feeling? Or do you just come off as arrogant in a constant, lonely struggle to keep up the charade? 

First of all, when you're trying to learn how to be confident, stop TRYING to be confident. The word "trying" implies failure — and, at the very least, doubt.


You’ve probably tried a million things in your lifetime and failed. Those experiences automatically programmed your subconscious mind to think that “trying” means it may — or may not — work out. No big deal, right? No, it is a big deal.

RELATED: 4 Powerful (And Free!) Ways To Boost Your Self-Esteem In 24 Hours

If you want to succeed, practice! Practice always makes you better, and everything you have done well has been practiced over time.

Practicing how to be confident can help you get into the feeling of what it will be like when you actually have it, and that is positive, powerful, creative energy for your subconscious mind. However, faking it is a slippery slope. It can lead to you being the imposter everyone hates to be around, that nobody truly knows, and that is a lonely existence. Authentic, core confidence is developed over time.


Here's the good news: it doesn’t have to take long. That part is up to you. The more you stop trying to be confident, and instead practice the internal peace truly confident people have developed, the quicker you will have it for yourself.

I’ve mentioned the subconscious mind a couple times because it is the tool you already have that you probably aren’t taking full advantage of. Confident people are good friends with their subconscious mind — those inner programs that run in the background control your life. And if you’re not paying attention, you can end up with a life vastly different from the one you wanted.

If you're like most people, your confidence (or lack of) depends on being accepted by others — but chances are, those people are seeking acceptance from others too, and that's building your self-worth on a very shaky foundation. You need to know who you are, what you believe, your strengths, your weaknesses and understand exactly what you want to experience in life.  

RELATED: 5 Odd (But Highly Effective) Ways To Become More Confident Than Ever


It might sound daunting at first, but simply ask yourself the same questions you would ask on a date or ask a new friend. It’s eye-opening and you’ll feel more empowered the deeper you dig.

When you understand how and why you feel the way you do about what goes on in your life, you can start creating your life instead of simply living as a victim of your circumstances. That’s what I call stepping into your power.



Pay attention to you instead of thinking about everyone else (who are all just trying to do the same thing)? Now, THAT is the little-known trick.

Develop a good relationship with yourself — that's where confidence comes from. You will begin knowing intuitively who empowers you (strong foundation), and who weakens you (shaky foundation).

As you feel the freedom and relief of understanding what makes you tick and tap into those inner thoughts, you will have confidence to pass on people and opportunities that do not serve you. As a result, you will feel more self-love and greater self-respect.

And (bonus!) you will magnetically attract other confident people (who aren’t threatened by your confidence) for friendship, relationships and amazing opportunities you dream of. Step up, step forward, and step into your power.


RELATED: 8 Ways To Recover Your Confidence When You Feel Totally Humiliated

Kelly Rudolph, founder of Positive Women Rock, takes women from stuck and stressed to clear and confident in as little as one day by showing them how to tap into their inner power. Connect with her and get her free Life Strategies.