3 Tiny Habits Of The Most Deeply Connected Couples
How to maintain a successful love life.
Josep Suria | Shutterstock Falling in love and having a healthy relationship are goals for many. But just like with any goal, achieving it requires work. Most likely, you’re familiar with the idea of setting goals, but probably, when you think about them, it’s because a manager or a personal trainer sits you down and forces you to make them. As annoying as it seems to write down what you want to achieve within a certain period — especially when you know it’s going to be tough to do it — you have to admit it works.
Even if you don’t make every goal, every time, the effort you put into achieving your goals makes you better at what you do. You also learn that falling short of a milestone isn’t the end of the world. You can always keep trying; if you’re smart, that’s what you do. If setting goals makes you better at work or stronger in the gym, imagine what will happen when you set goals for your relationships! There are various goals for the attached and unattached who are in love or looking for it. Try them out, even if it’s just for a month or two, and watch your love life start to rock!
Here are 3 tiny habits of the most deeply connected couples:
1. Mandatory date night
Schedule this once per week. When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to fall into the rut of living parallel lives. You might be in the same house, the same room, or even the same bed. But, unless you’re focused on nothing but each other, you risk losing the spark that brought you together in the first place. Keep the heat turned up with a mandatory date night! From dinner and a movie to a huge blowout out on the town, time to be "just you two" is sure to continue being in love and fanning the flames of romance in your relationship.
2. Role-reversal
Schedule this once per month. If one of you is sick of picking up after the other, while the other one is tired of always being the one to have to change the light bulbs, you could accidentally turn down the road to resentment. Get back on track by taking one day a month to reverse the roles. Whether you do this as a surprise or because you have it planned out, you’ll give each other a break and build a better understanding of what you have to go through, too.
3. Intimate texting
Schedule this at least once per day. No matter how busy you get at work, there are always a few seconds to stop and send a text to the one you love. Rather than lamely thumbing out a "What’s up, honey?" or "Don’t forget to bring home the milk", spice it up by saying something sultry. Call on all those code words and pet names you use when you’re at the height of passion. And don’t be surprised, when you see each other again, at the inspiration you get for more frequent fun in the bedroom.
Photo: Jhosua Rodríguez/Pexels
Here are 3 ways to find that connection if you're still single:
1. Make yourself available
Schedule this once per week. When you’re single, it’s tempting to fill up your schedule with every last activity you can think of. You don’t have to stay late at the office as much as you might think and the third of six or seven volunteer groups you're in will do fine without you now and then. Schedule at least one night a week when you are available. That way, when that special person tip-toes into your life and you fall in love, you’ll have space in your calendar to find out if this is the real thing, or just a coffee date and nothing more.
2. Reach out
Schedule this once per day. Is there someone in your life you want to know a little better? It doesn’t have to be a person you want to date, but it could be! Take one of those fifteen business cards you collected at the last networking event and give that person you’ve been meaning to call a short jingle or a "hello" text. Remember, the person you meet isn’t always the one you’re looking for, but someone that contact knows well might be! Keep the flow of new people coming into your life and you’ll increase your chances of finding the love you’ve longed for.
3. Pamper yourself
Schedule this once per month. To keep yourself feeling good about the way you look and feel, put aside some time and a little cash to take extra good care of yourself. Try getting a facial or a massage, or immersing yourself in an experience such as a sound bath in a salt cave or an hour in a float tank. Get your hair coiffed perfectly, buy a new outfit, or spiff up your style with a total makeover.
When you treat yourself with love, care, and respect, you’re going to attract someone who will treat you that way, too! Remember, a good relationship can’t even begin until you learn to take care of yourself the way you need to be treated. Healthy relationships take work and effort. So, think about the above relationship advice and work on improving your love life. Whether you’re with someone or not, setting goals is a great way to keep your relationship life vital, exciting, and filled with the potential for happiness and fulfillment.
Judi Vitale is a certified transpersonal coach, an advanced clinical hypnotherapist, and a consulting astrologer.