Are You Really "Slender"?

Ouch.  This is a tough topic.  I wondered if I should even chance writing about it.  Get ready to be introspective here.  Different websites have unique methods of describing your physique in your online dating profile.  Unless it lists a weight range, these methods are subjective at best.  If it's a weight range, it's still inaccurate.  For example, I weigh over 150 lbs, but my phsyique (genetically) is incredibly muscular, and I wear a women's clothing size 6-8.  I'm also on the taller side.


Some men like their women with lots of curves, and others like waifs.  But at the end of the day, an accurate description will save everyone a lot of time and money while online dating.  Also, EVERY man and woman should post a full body, RECENT and accurate, photo on their dating profile.  It also helps to mention that it's recent and accurate, just to be sure.  Men, especially, will pass on a woman's profile if he just "can't tell".  It's not because he's a jerk.  It's just because he's been burned and he's tired of paying for ridiculous dates.  I had one matchmaking client tell me that he drove 100 miles for an evening online date, only to find that the woman has posted her roommate's photo on her profile.  She was attractive, but she lied.  He couldn't get out of there fast enough.  My own husband (who went out on a grand total of like four online dates) once went out with a woman who listed herself as "athletic".  She was in excess of 250 pounds.  Now, that, is just plain crazy talk!


I recognize that the slender and athletic categories get you a lot more traffic, and a lot more potential dates.  But if that's an inaccurate listing for your body type, it's also going to bring you disappointment and tears after years of unsuccessful dating.  To keep it simple, I'm going to use's description system and give you my definitions based on what men have told me that expect out of certain listed body types:


Slender:  You're not carrying an extra 5-10 pounds, and you probably don't work out a lot.  Maybe some cardio here and there.  You're probably genetically thin.  You buy your clothes in a women's size 0-6.

About Average:  Men read this answer as 10-15 pounds overweight.  Especially in areas of the country that are more fit or more metropolitan.

Athetic and Toned:  You work out regularly.  Because of this, you're body is shaped well, but you don't have to be ripped to look great.  You probably wear a clothing size under a size 8, unless you're particularly tall.

Heavyset, Big and Beautiful, Full-Figured:  You wear a clothing size 16 and up.  If you're tall, choose Big and Beautiful.  If you're very curvy, choose Full-Figured.  If you're rounder/stockier, choose Heavyset.  Typically, men will use the Heavyset and Stocky categories, not women.

A Few Extra Pounds:  You're anywhere from 15-25 pounds overweight for you.  You probably wear a size 12-14 women's clothing size.

Curvy: You're probably 10-20 pounds heavy for you, but you wear it well.  Your bust/waist/hip ratios are ideal and you probably have a generous bust and backside.


If you're still not sure, go visit a nutritionist or personal trainer.  Have your body fat tested and look it up.  I was shocked to learn that I had fallen into an "obese" bodyfat range after having my daughter and not exercising regularly, though I still could wear the same size clothing.  This article is about being honest on your profile, not about what size is the best for finding love.  I will always advocate that women be as healthy as they can be, and do things in their lives that promote happiness and confidence.  If you're unhappy with your personal shape, then do something about it.  No one wants to date an unhappy person who is embarrassed of themselves and then lies about it.  If you need help with your online dating profile, then dating coaches like myself can help you whip up an honest assessment of yourself that will help you find the right person for you.  As my husband once said, "There's an ass for every seat."  Indeed!