Stop putting too much effort into your relationship!
By Heather Lyon — Written on Jul 26, 2013
When relationships first begin, women tend to demonstrate their love by going above and beyond to make their guy feel special. For example, you may cook delicious dinners, make the house feel like a home, give him long back rubs, make him lunch, and give him little surprises just because. You do all of these things out of love, but as the relationship progresses and your guy gets used to being treated like a king, he may start to be less appreciative, and that's when you start to feel taken for granted, unappreciated, and resentful.
So, what's the relationship fix? Simple: stop going above and beyond to make him feel special, and start taking care of your own priorities first. And no, ladies, this is not selfish! You can't give what you don't have, so you can't truly be generous and loving to him unless you're generous and loving to yourself.
To start, look at where you're taking from yourself to give to him. For example, do you skip your morning exercise because he's not a morning person and wants to stay in bed? If so, tell him to sleep as late as he wants, but you're going to the gym! Do you tend to cook the steak, potatoes, and pasta he likes for dinner, instead of the lighter fare you prefer? If so, start preparing the dinners you actually like to eat. Tell him there's enough for him, too, but if he wants something else he'll have to make it. Do you wait to have time with your girl friends until he's away for the weekend? If so, start doing girl's night a few times a month, even if he's in town.
I know this may sound a little scary but trust me: you're going to love the results. Once you start taking care of yourself first, he'll start to really appreciate it when you do something extra special for him, like cooking him his favorite pasta for dinner. Plus, you'll be less resentful and won't always be waiting for him to take care of you because you'll be taking care of you. Your needs will already be met, so anything thoughtful he does will be icing on the cake.
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More relationships advice from YourTango:
- Why Men Are More Distant Than Women In Relationships
- Romance: How To Keep It Going Forever
- Find A Relationship Expert
This article was originally published at Make Up or Break Up. Reprinted with permission from the author.