11 Ways COVID-19 Is Like Dating A Narcissist — And How To Protect Yourself | Dr. Fabienne Slama

This pandemic is teaching us more about self-love and inner strength.

By Fabienne Slama — Written on Apr 25, 2020

Photo: Kinga Cichewicz/unsplash

11 Ways COVID-19 Is Like Dating A Narcissist — And How To Protect Yourself

If you've ever dated a narcissist, you're well aware of the type of relationship you have them, which is one that is unhealthy and toxic.

I've worked with over a thousand women and men who felt stuck in a toxic relationship, whether it's at home or at work.

They had to learn how to reconnect with their inner power, feel more confident, and attract more success and love.

Many of them had been victims of narcissistic partners or bosses and reached out to me because they were feeling stressed, anxious, and powerless.

During these times of the COVID-19 coronavirus pandemic, many people around the world have described those same feelings of fear, depression, and stress.

COVID-19 displays the exact same qualities of any toxic interaction. The only way to survive — or at least respond to it — is similar to the way you would respond to any toxic relationship.

Here are 11 ways COVID-19 is like dating a narcissist — and how you can protect yourself.

1. They don't care about who you are or what you want.

COVID-19 cares only about one thing, itself and doing what is the best for it.

In this case, finding a host, establishing a relationship with the host, entering the host’s space, and growing inside the host, even if it means hurting or killing the recipient of the interaction.

Narcissists don’t care about you or how you feel — they only care about themselves.

2. They don't discriminate.

Whether you are wealthy or poor, educated or not, young or older — no one deserves to get sick. The virus infects anyone equally and if you are infected, it is not your fault.

In a similar way, don’t feel guilty for not recognizing a toxic partner. They don’t advertise and sometimes don’t even realize that they are dangerous and hurtful.

Blaming yourself won’t help. Being kind and loving to yourself in those moments goes a long way. You don’t have to stay in the relationship, though.

3. They're not always obvious, at first.

You might become a carrier of the virus and not know it for a while until the toxicity expresses itself.

You can be in a relationship with a narcissist and you won’t recognize any red flags until the narcissist shows their true colors.

4. You need to stay away.

The only way you can protect yourself from COVID-19 is by sheltering in place and avoiding any contact with the virus.

The only way you can avoid toxic relationships is by not entering into a relationship with a narcissist, which is difficult because there is nothing that will allow you to recognize them at first.

Once you recognize them, don’t excuse their behavior, and run away if you can.

5. The healthier you are, the better you can fight back.

But if your immune defense is already compromised, it is harder for your body to respond to COVID-19.

Clients who get caught in a relationship with a narcissist have often been in a pattern of toxic relationships that can be traced back to their childhood, growing up with emotionally unavailable or abusive parents.

Those early interactions created some emotional scarring that makes the subject more at-risk to get physically or emotionally hurt.

6. You are always at-risk.

If you have to go out in the world, the only way to protect yourself from a COVID-19 infection is to wear protective gear like a mask and gloves.

You also need to establish safe distancing from others because you don't know if they are carrying the virus.

In the same way, you put yourself at risk each time you enter a new relationship, whether at home or work.

Take it slowly and give yourself the time to know the person before making yourself totally available and vulnerable.

7. Not everyone is affected the same way.

Only a small (but unfortunately too large) percentage of the population will get infected. Not everyone is a carrier, not everyone is contagious, and not every surface is contaminated.

Even though we mostly notice those who become sick, the majority of the population will have no or minor health consequences from this pandemic.

In the same way, most relationships are safe and most people are nice, loving, and kind.

8. You can fight back.

If the coronavirus enters your system, there is a chance you will become ill. Fortunately, most of us will be able to fight the virus and recover on our own. For that, you will have to rely on the strength of your immune system.

If you enter a relationship with a narcissist, you will have to reconnect with your inner power and be ready to fight for your life.

9. It's a long battle.

People who are infected by COVID-19 and display symptoms describe a pretty dreadful and long battle. One day you might feel miserable and the next feel better, only to get even worse the following day.

Recovering from COVID-19 takes courage and patience. Until your system gets rid of the virus fully and completely, you have to rest and be kind to yourself. You may also have to rely on friends and family for help.

When in a relationship with a narcissist, you might feel abused and hurt one day and the next day wonder if you overreacted. As soon as you relax, the abuser might come back, more toxic than ever.

Tap into your courage, your resilience and don’t forget the hurtful moments because of an instant of kindness. Reach out to your friends and loved ones for support. You don’t have to do it alone.

10. It can get deadly.