Martha Tara Lee, MA, Other - Expert

I went to see Martha in Jan this year. I wasn’t sure initially if she could really help me. But I thought, I have to give it a try. Throughout the whole session she made me feel very comfortable and at ease. And I still wasn’t sure if I could have sex successfully after the sessions with her. Not that I was not confident with her or doubt her abilities…I wasn’t sure if I could do it. But she gave me lots of encouragement and assured me that I could do it just like any other women. I listened attentively in the 2 sessions I had with her and did the exercises she told me to. After just 2 sessions, I did it! I had sex for the first time! It was an emotional and beautiful experience. It was painful and uncomfortable initially but as we move along, it became easier and more pleasurable. Now, I look forward to sex… I don’t have to turn away from sex due to pain anymore.

I thank Martha from the bottom of my heart. With her help I became a real women… she changed our lives… she strengthen my relationship with my husband.”

- Virgin

I had been suffering in silence for years and after meeting Martha, felt for the first time in my 28 years, like there was light at the end of the tunnel. Not only did she address all the issues I presented her with, she was 100 percent successful in helping me get over them!

I was a virgin for 28 years, not because I wanted to be or thought I had to save myself, but because sex was always something that was too painful for me. I had tried a number of times with a few partners, and attempted penetration always left me with blinding pain. I often felt like there was something wrong with me because I knew that sex was supposed to be a natural thing, and being single and having to date always made me feel anxious because I hated the thought of having to deal with sex with new people.

In only 3 sessions, Martha helped me overcome everything I had been trying to fight against all my life and I finally managed to have sex with the partner that I love and trust, whom I had been trying to make love to for 5 years. She went through relaxation exercises, physical exercises, pelvic exercises, and most of all, encouraged me. With every session, she gave me the courage to be myself and acknowledge the things I deserve.

By my fourth session with Martha, we were discussing methods to start enjoying the sex I was already having. If that’s not a feat, I don’t know what is.

She helped me with something that I was nearly going to give up on after having tried for so long.

Until I met Martha, I was clueless about the fact that there were practicing sexologists in Singapore and always felt at a loss when it came to whom I could talk to about my sexuality and my problems with sex. Martha gave me the avenue to be honest about sex in a society that is so afraid to even utter a word about it. If I had not met with her, I am certain that I would still be in the same position I was in a few months ago, struggling with something that I thought was near impossible.

I thank Martha from the bottom of my heart, for giving me the self-esteem to be a healthy, sexual person and for being the force that managed to push me over one of the greatest hurdles of my life.”

- Anonymous

Martha’s belief in the positive power of intimacy and an open heart pointed the way towards possibilities and experiences I never considered possible in my life. If you’ve an issue you haven’t been able to work out on your own, why not do something different this time? Try talking to Martha.”

- Anonymous Male

These sessions have covered three subjects which are current concerns for me:

1. developing a short term plan for improvement of physical exercise program and mental well being
2. initiation of a medium term career transition plan
3. defining first steps and aspiration goals for a long term personal development plan (a passion for more serious creative photography)

In each session, Ms. Lee expertly guided me through establishing the objective of the particular session, defining the goals I would like to set for myself, examination of options, hurdles, and opportunities in achieving these goals, and establishing my personal level of commitment to successful realization of these goals.

I would characterize Ms. Lee’s approach as professional, non judgemental, appropriately structured and goal oriented, personally interested and asking relevant thought provoking questions, encouraging of further ideas and development of detail action steps, and establishing a supportive openness to discuss follow through and results.

While these sessions were the first time I actually thought through and discussed many of my desired goals with another person, Ms Lee’s encouraging smile would appear at exactly the right instant to allow me to comfortably do so.

I value my coaching sessions with Ms. Lee, and feel I have already benefited greatly. She has my whole hearted recommendation.”
- Duff Hughes (Mr.)

I recommend Martha to anyone wishing for a supportive guide to take them through life in order to make better choices for themselves and expand their ways of thinking.”

- Sha Najak (Ms.)

Until I read an article about that lot of woman having same problem like what I had facing, and that’s the first time I knew Martha from the magazine, I decided to give a try to seek for her help. Through out the first session, she try her best to understand my problems and my worries, then encourage me make me feel that there is a hope that I can overcome this problem, as long as I follow her instruction, doing kegel exercises with the understanding how to make myself relax, slowly then I should be able to overcome it.

After first session, Martha always follow up my status by email and encourage me if have any problem not sure can just give her a call. After second session, finally me and my husband manage to have sex for the first time! I still feel painful and not really comfortable but at least it was no longer a barrier for me. As long as I keep practicing those exercises, it will become better and I would be able to enjoy more for my sex life.

Really appreciate Martha for helping me to become a real woman, and enjoy good quality sex life without pain and fear.“- Anonymous Lady

Before i met Martha, sex always a nightmare for me. After married for one year plus, having sex become a most stress issue in my marriage. Always feel pain, scare and tired for keep trying, but always end with crying and upset.

Until I read an article about that lot of woman having same problem like what I had facing, and that’s the first time I knew Martha from the magazine, I decided to give a try to seek for her help. Through out the first session, she try her best to understand my problems and my worries, then encourage me make me feel that there is a hope that I can overcome this problem, as long as I follow her instruction, doing kegel exercises with the understanding how to make myself relax, slowly then I should be able to overcome it.

After first session, Martha always follow up my status by email and encourage me if have any problem not sure can just give her a call. After second session, finally me and my husband manage to have sex for the first time! I still feel painful and not really comfortable but at least it was no longer a barrier for me. As long as I keep practicing those exercises, it will become better and I would be able to enjoy more for my sex life.

Really appreciate Martha for helping me to become a real woman, and enjoy good quality sex life without pain and fear."- Anonymous Lady

Once, I feel very depressed because more than a year after seeing Martha, penetration still seem impossible, although there was some progress. I wanted to go see Martha a second time, but she was very sweet and offered a phone call instead. Though short, it was an effective chat. Martha encouraged and educated us. Through her, I understand more fully what’s going on with my body and how the body can be taught and conditioned. She also was comfortable enough to recommend another professional, a psychotherapist, to me in the midst of my process, and this played a part in my success.

Above all, through these years, I know for a fact Martha is truly genuine and sincere, trustworthy and professional. I share this because I hope that you never feel too hopeless to seek help. It’s after a long time that my hubby and I achieved what many couples take for granted. If I thought my situation was too hopeless to receive help, this day would not have come”

– Anonymous Lady, 20 April 2016

It wasn’t smooth all the time, but it’s definitely getting easier and more pleasurable =). It still hurt a bit for him whenever he tried to go in, but once it was in it wouldn’t hurt anymore. Also him would usually take some time before he could ejaculate, and we were not always successful with ejaculation inside. Any idea how we can make it easier?

And we have been trying to conceive – hopefully we can share with you the good news really soon!

Thanks!!!”

– Anonymous female, 14 Dec 2014

It was really helpful that you taught us about the whole process, our body, our fear, and helped us set right expectation for our initial sessions. My wife followed the exercises and after 3-4 times, her fear reduced and both of us can progress and help each other.

After about 4 months, we finally can have sex successfully, and we felt a huge relief. Now if we have some difficulties, we still remind ourselves what you said, that sex is fun and it doesn’t have to be painful or stress, then we can learn to relax.

We are grateful that we meet you. Thanks for teaching and encouraging us, we hope other couples with same difficulty can overcome it.”

We tried actively in the first 1-2 years of our marriage and was not successful, after that we tried less and less as every time when we tried it was not successful I’ll burst into tears and my hubby thought I was hurt and therefore did not persist to try anymore. It was until the 3rd year into our marriage, my parents started chasing us to have child so I thought I really had to overcome this problem but I was quite helpless and I did not know what more we could try… the worst was that I started doubting myself and thinking something was wrong with my vagina, maybe it was constructed differently from other women’s.. so we went to see our family doctor who then referred us to a gynae, then we got to know from that gynae that it’s not a uncommon problem in Singapore, the gynae suggested me to do a vagina dilation, she wanted to break the hymen and also to check inside the vagina to ensure everything is ok. So at one fine day I was put in sedation and had my vagina dilation done, doctor also gave me some numbing cream and told me next time I could try to put on the numbing cream when I try to have penetrative sex with my hubby I should not be feeling the pain. I thought it will work however when I put the numbing cream on I could not feel anything no sensation and did not even want to try it. I tried a few times still the same result and I was desperate thought nothing helps me anymore and did not want to try further.

Into the 5th year of my marriage, one day I was browsing a magazine and learnt Martha Lee the sexologist who treats this problem and thought about giving it a try, but my 2nd thought was it will be embarrassing and I will not know where to start and how to even describe my problem. With much thought (a few months later) I finally convinced myself and my hubby and made an appointment with Dr Martha Lee, I shared my problem briefly through an email with Martha and was assured I am seeing the right person, the way Martha communicates was friendly and efficient, it made me felt I have found the right person and I was looking forward to our first session with Martha.

During the first session we shared the details of our problems with Martha and we got to know that we were not the only couple who had this problem called Vaginismus and it is very much psychological and it is 100% treatable, I suddenly found a sense of confidence and I was very happy I had made this very meaningful first step. Martha shared with us the knowledge about genitals and introduces us Kegels exercise, she’s clear and effective in her communication, friendly and always put us at easy, she is very open and experienced too, after 4 sessions I found that I had gained so much knowledge about vagina and sex and was looking forward to my first successful penetration. The best thing about Martha is that she gave us homework after each session and made sure we progress along the way. She is very encouraging and she gives offline support too.

Martha also organized free Vaginismus support group, which allows people who has this problem to meet to share the experience and support each other. It was very helpful to me to meet two of Martha’s ex-customers who had successfully overcame Vaginismus and I was motivated not to give up and keep trying to get the desired results.

With Martha’s constant encouragement, and our progressive tryings, we finally had our first penetrative sex about 8 months after our first session with Martha, it was a great achievement to us, but at the same time we know that we were lucky to have Martha who is knowledgeable, patient, supportive and encouraging.. without her help we would never be able to achieve what we have achieved today.

Would want to recommend Martha to everyone who has this problem, I am sure with her knowledge, patience, support and encouragement you will be able to overcome vaginismus the soonest.

Thanks Martha. Sincerely wish you to keep up your great work and may you be able to reach out more people who are like me.  Thank you.”

– A very satisfied customer

She is someone who is encouraging and professional. She went through relaxation exercises, physical exercises, pelvic exercises and we practice them regularly. If we have any questions, she was prompt to reply to them.

Within 2 visits with Martha and two months later, we were able to have successful penetrative sex! I still feel pain and uncomfortable but I know that i have finally overcome with Vaginismus. As long as we continue to practice what she has taught and get used to it, the experience with sex will get more comfortable.

My husband and I would like to thank Martha for helping us to get over one of the greatest hurdles of our lives. Great job Martha!” – Anonymous

Taking the first step is always not easy and may be difficult for some. I was glad that I took the first step to meet and discuss with Martha my condition at a one-to-one session. Eros Coaching has helped me to overcome vaginismus – a condition that indirectly drains away my self-esteem, confidence and womanhood. I was determined to establish and find back the lost intimacy with my spouse.

Through the wide range of programs and activities offered by Eros Coaching, as well as the comprehensive discussions with Martha, I gained more confidence in overcoming the condition. I am very thankful to know Martha and will always be grateful to her. I strongly recommend Eros Coaching to anyone.” – Anonymoys Lady, February 2012

Through 4 sessions with Martha, who is very compassionate and sensitive, she gave us a very professional and realistic pet talk, explaining and managing our expectations, anger and disappointment. She gave us alot of space to air our grievances and issues that we were suppressed inside us. With her as a bridge, a knowledgeable moderator, we work out our inner differences and expectations. My relationship with my finace took on a deeper level and our sexual expectations with each other were clarified.

Our last session with Martha was a practical session where Martha taught us relaxation techniques and different exercises to strengthen and relax ourselves for sex. We were also educated that sex does not only means penetrative sex, there are many different ways and techniques of pleasures.

I did the exercises and using the breathing and positive self-talk mental tecniques Martha taught me, I finally managed to have penetrative sex. Although it was not as romantic as whatever the sexy stuff shown on TV, it was a feat for me to be able to JUST DO IT instead of tensing with fear!

Martha who is a very warm and generous therapist, has constantly encourage and kept in touch with me, telling me that sex takes practice and it will become better and better with each try and she is right! Sex is becoming more and more enjoyable for me and I am now able to speak truthfully and plainly to my husband what works for me and what do not work for me. With Martha’s coaching, my husband has also improved in his techniques for making me feel comfortable and making it more enjoyable.

I thanks Martha for making it a possibility for me to get married! And also provide us with understanding how male and female sexual expectations are different and how to manage each other expectations to make a relationship work. I am thankful that there is a sexologist in Singapore! A female one to boot, that allows me to talk candidly without any reservations and who totally understand that feelings and emotions are important aspect of sex too! Keep up the great work, Martha!”

– Anonymous Lady

“Before i met Martha, sex always a nightmare for me. After married for one year plus, having sex become a most stress issue in my marriage. Always feel pain, scare and tired for keep trying, but always end with crying and upset.

Until I read an article about that lot of woman having same problem like what I had facing, and that’s the first time I knew Martha from the magazine, I decided to give a try to seek for her help. Through out the first session, she try her best to understand my problems and my worries, then encourage me make me feel that there is a hope that I can overcome this problem, as long as I follow her instruction, doing kegel exercises with the understanding how to make myself relax, slowly then I should be able to overcome it.

After first session, Martha always follow up my status by email and encourage me if have any problem not sure can just give her a call. After second session, finally me and my husband manage to have sex for the first time! I still feel painful and not really comfortable but at least it was no longer a barrier for me. As long as I keep practicing those exercises, it will become better and I would be able to enjoy more for my sex life.

Really appreciate Martha for helping me to become a real woman, and enjoy good quality sex life without pain and fear.“- Anonymous Lady

From our sessions, you also pointed out that we must take care of ourself before we can take care of others. So I try to think more positively as I was always thinking negatively and putting myself down when I was depressed. So I decided to be kind to myself and love myself more. I also followed your advice and went to exercise regularly. I joined Zumba and Pilates class with my cousin to force myself to exercise at first. But as time went by, I begin to enjoy the classes and exercising also help me to de-stress. I also still continued going for counselling once a month with my marriage counselor to talk about any problems that I have and not let it fester inside me.

My daughter, who has mild autism, also improved alot and that made it easier for me to let go and not be so overly protective of her. So I decided to make it a point to go out with my hubby once a week by ourselves. At first it was abit difficult as my son was quite sticky and jealous that we didn’t go out together and he’ll cry when I go out with my hubby. Then I decided to bribe my kids with toys just before I go out with my hubby and it worked! My son will protest at first then but when he saw the new toy, he’s more interested to play with it haha!

I guess that’s how I got out of my depression slowly over the months. I still feel down sometimes but I tell myself that I don’t need to go back to those depressed days when everything seemed so hopeless and bleak. So that thought keeps me from falling back into depression. I hope this will help your clients who have depression.” – Anonymous, 19 Jan 2015

He is still in the process of overcoming delay ejaculation by practicing different massage techniques taught by Martha but he is definitely getting better each day!

Most importantly our relationship has improved tremendously which in my opinion is more important than any other issue!

I am expecting now after visiting Martha in April !!

Thank you Martha, We can’t be here without u!!”

– Anonymous Female Client, 24 Dec 2014

On our wedding night, I realized that I couldn’t let my husband do his ‘job’, because I was really scared of pain. My body become tense when he tried to do the penetration. Surrounded by friends who told story that the 1st penetration will be bloody painful, I couldn’t let myself relax and enjoy that moment. It was continued for a month and I started realizing that there’s something wrong with me.I start googling about difficulty in penetrative sex and I found that I was suffer from vaginismus. Then I found Martha’s website and interested in seeing her. After several negotiation with my husband (initially he thought this problem is not a big deal & not necessary to ask for other’s help), I decided to contact Martha and made our 1st appointment.

She gave my 1st homework: inserting cotton buds covered with condom. It was the most difficult thing I’ve ever had. But with husband’s help, after several tries I was able to have the cotton buds inserted into my vagina. I started to have confidence and eager to practise more. Then she gave another homework: to insert 1 finger. It took around 1 month for me to have it done.

After our 4th session, we still kept trying inserting finger. It is true that the process of inserting 2 fingers is much faster than 1 finger. When inserting 2 fingers for the 1st time, I feel pain & uncomfortable. But after several time, I get used to it, as what Martha said, my body remembered.

About 1 or 2 weeks after that (about 4 months after our wedding), we were able to do penetrative sex for the 1st time, with woman on top position. I was able to insert my husband’s penis without pain, only a bit uncomfortable feeling (maybe because I was nervous).

Now, we would like to thank Martha for helping us overcome this problem. Thanks for being so patient in answering our queries, for all your effort to encourage us, and for always saying that I am normal. She’s not only helping us overcome vaginismus, but she also gave some sex education which we didn’t know before.

Thank you Martha! We will recommend you to our friends when needed.

Your very satisfied customer,
W & J