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Don't let divorce ruin your future happiness.
By Karen Finn — Written on May 04, 2019
Divorce is one of the most distressing events you can ever experience.
Learning how to heal a broken heart when dealing with life after divorce can be tough. Especially if you didn't want to end your marriage.
Divorce can cause pain of such intensity that it’s common to wonder if you can survive it.
It’s from this abyss of hurt that you start wondering how to make the aching anguish stop.
And you’ll become cautiously curious about whether there are steps to healing after divorce.
Your curiosity about recovering from the end of your marriage is a very, very good thing.
Wanting to know the steps to healing after divorce is a sign of budding courage.
It means you’re ready to begin your work to heal your heart instead of remaining mired in the throes of blame and victimhood.
It’s from this place of tentative resolution that knowing the steps to healing after divorce will give you the most benefit.
Here are 3 steps you can take after divorce to help heal your broken heart:
1. Plan ahead instead of waiting for things to happen
Being afraid of the unknown is normal. Having to face the unknown when you’re struggling with the gut-wrenching grief of divorce is downright terrifying.
By knowing what to expect as you put in the effort to heal your heart, you’ll bring clarity to what you’re facing and what still lies ahead of you.
And this will start to make your path forward known.
When you can start to put your recovery progress into perspective by understanding what steps you need to take to heal after divorce, your anxiety and stress will begin to decrease.
You’ll know you’re on the path to get through this terrible experience when you feel it.
You’ll also know that you can get over it just like everyone else who has ever gotten over the end of their marriage.
2. Don't ignore your grief
Grief is unique to each person and to the specific loss being grieved.
You may have experienced loss and grief before, but the grief you experience during and after divorce will be different.
And even if you’ve divorced before, the grief you feel now is different still.
It’s because of grief’s unique nature that going through it can feel so isolating and perplexing.
However, when you know the steps to getting over your divorce, you’ll find guidelines for healing.
The guidelines will help you better evaluate what you’re doing and know if you’re helping yourself or prolonging your pain.
Being able to make these evaluations will help you recover more quickly.
3. Know when to ask for help
Once you know the steps to heal after divorce, you’ll be able to determine whether you’re making the progress you want.
If you find that you’re struggling, then it’s time to ask for help.
Asking for help could be as simple as asking a friend for a hug.
Or it could mean finding a professional to help you move through whatever step or steps you’re struggling with.
It’s by knowing when to ask for help that you’ll continue along your healing journey instead of getting stuck or delaying your progress.
Reaching the point where you’re courageously curious about the steps to healing after divorce is a milestone in putting the end of your marriage behind you.
It signals that you’re ready to begin bravely creating a new life for yourself instead of remaining a victim of your divorce.
It also signals the start of your new, quicker healing process.
Dr. Karen Finn is a divorce and life coach whose writing on marriage, divorce, and co-parenting has appeared on MSN, Yahoo!, eHarmony, and many others. You can learn more about Karen and her work by visiting her at her website.
This article was originally published at Dr. Karen Finn. Reprinted with permission from the author.