Self, Heartbreak

5 Everyday Hacks To Pull You Out Of Your Post-Divorce SLUMP

Photo: WeHeartIt
Sad Woman

Your divorce is probably one of the lowest points of your life. (It was for me.) Not only is your old life stripped away, but you’re faced with really hard questions about how to make your way through life on your own (maybe even as a single parent).

You’re going to have to continue the hard work you’ve already been doing to set yourself (and your kids) up for a successful post-divorce life. But I know you can do it. Why? Because you (and your kids) are worth it. You’ve got too much life ahead of you to call it quits now and settle for miserable.

So what do you do? You start small by developing some habits that will form the foundation on which you can build a happy and successful life after divorce.

Below are the 5 habits you need to develop to build your life after divorce into one that feels successful and that you love:

1. Make your health a priority.

I’m talking a holistic health here. Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. You have to take care of you first so you can have the energy to take care of those who depend on you.

2. Don’t get distracted by what your ex is (or isn’t) doing.

Unless your ex is doing something egregiously wrong, you need to let them live their own life so YOU can live your OWN. I know it’s not easy to let go after all the years you’ve spent together, but letting go is exactly what you need to do so you can move on with your life after divorce.

3. Stay inspired by having new experiences.

Getting and staying involved in things that make you feel good and even challenge you will keep you motivated. And when you feel motivated to have more fun experiences and think new empowering thoughts, you’ll be easily able to make the next habit happen.

4. Live each day to the fullest.

Yes, squeeze every last ounce of wonderful out of every day that you can. I know that things may not seem all that wonderful right now, but start looking for what’s good about each day. I actually keep a journal and write down everything that I’ve really enjoyed each day. It might be the sound of the birds singing early in the morning or playing with my dogs.

Wonderful isn't always something big. It is just something you’ve noticed and appreciated.

5. Plan the next day the night before.

This tip is last because it comes easiest after you’ve started working on the other habits. Taking the time to lay out your clothes, plan the next day’s tasks, and layout the things you need to take to work (or the kids need to take to school) the night before will make your morning go much more smoothly. And we both know that if your morning goes well it’s easier for the rest of the day to go that way too.

Taking care of you HAS to come first. If you’re not taking care of you, you can’t do much else for long.

So don’t worry if these 5 foundational habits seem like too much right now. Just work on the first one. And when you’re ready, start picking up the others so you can build your life after divorce on a solid foundation that will easily allow you to have the happiness and success you both want and deserve.

Dr. Karen Finn is a divorce coach and divorce survivor herself. She works with clients to help them cope with and survive their divorce. You can join her anonymous newsletter group for free advice or schedule some time directly in her Time Trade calendar for a free 30-minute conversation about about how you can create a successful life after divorce.

This article was originally published at Dr. Karen Finn's blog. Reprinted with permission from the author.