4 Ways To Rescue Your Partner From A Terrible Day (And Their Bad Mood)
They'll thank you, we promise.
getty If you’re like most men, there are times you wish your lady came with directions. I’ll bet you’re a really great guy who wants to help when the woman in your life is having a bad day. You’ve probably tried solving her problems and even distracting her with presents or activities because that’s what works for you.
But instead of her being thankful, somehow all your efforts just seem to make things worse, which only frustrates you. First, let me put your mind at ease: Chances are her bad day has nothing to do with you.
So there’s no need to feel frustrated, hurt, or even defensive when she’s just not her usual self after your efforts to make things better. She’ll be back to normal soon enough and even quicker if you offer her your genuine support and love.
Think that’s exactly what you’ve been doing? Well, let's try again with this relationship advice.
Here are 4 simple ways to brighten her bad mood with ease:
1. Ask if she’d like to talk about it.
If she does, listen to her, empathize and for heaven’s sake do not try to solve the situation unless she specifically asks you to. And even then only gently offer suggestions of things she might consider.
2. Ask if she’d like some "me time."
Sometimes women just need a break from everything. "Me time" may mean that she wants to take a bath, go get a massage or a mani/pedi, exercise, or just be left alone.
But being left alone doesn’t mean you should leave the house (unless she specifically asks you to). It does mean that you’re in charge of whatever needs doing — taking care of the kids, making dinner, or feeding the dog. Whatever needs doing, do it all on your own. Just for a bit.
3. Give her a hug.
Tenderness and support can go a long way to calming her frazzled nerves. Don’t be surprised if she’s stiff at first and then begins crying as she softens into the hug. Just continue holding her gently until she pulls away.
4. Ask if there’s some way you can help.
You may or may not get an actionable response when you ask this question. Whatever her answer is, do your best job of being supportive. Don’t worry if she doesn’t take you up on any of your offers the first couple of times you try to help her through a bad day. Just be sure and let her know you’re there for her.
As she gets more and more used to the fact that you’re there to help, she’ll begin leaning on you when she could use your strength to get through a bad day. You’ll feel better because you know you’re helping her. She’ll feel better because she’ll know you really care about and understand her.
Dr. Karen Finn is a divorce and life coach. Her writing on marriage, divorce and co-parenting has appeared on MSN, Yahoo! & eHarmony among others. You can learn more about Karen and her work on her website.