What makes you truly feel sexy? It may be easier than you think!
By Robin Goldstein — Written on Jan 07, 2014
What does it really mean to be sexy? This sounds like a straightforward question, but it is actually very complicated. To answer it correctly, you have to know if you are interested in finding out how to be sexy for yourself or how to be sexy for your partner.
Being sexy isn't all about lingerie and breasts.
Advertising, movies and TV often portray an adolescent version of sexuality. It's important to remember that these are fantasy realms designed to sell. Most people on TV are younger, more attractive, in better shape and have better dialogue than those of us in the real world. That's okay. Fiction is to entertain us and allow us to escape. Being sexy in real life is much more about how attracted you are to your partner and how much you are able to enjoy your sex life.
If a woman gets too locked in to clothes as how to be sexy; wearing low cut tops and short skirts, she will definitely attract attention, but she may not attract the kind of person who appeals to her or allows her to enjoy herself sexually. The media tells men how to be sexy also; drink the right kind of alcohol, wear the right watch, drive the right car, work out at the gym, and/or have a full head of hair.
The problem of focusing on appearance as a way to be sexy is that is a hard act to keep up and may draw people to you for something that has very little to do with who you really are or what you value in yourself. It's flattering to have others find you attractive but it doesn't necessarily make for a wonderful sexual experience.
How To Be Sexy For Yourself:
There is nothing more attractive than sexual confidence. Feeling comfortable with yourself and with your body, allowing yourself to feel pleasure and enjoy giving it is the ultimate turn on. I encounter so many women who are caring, capable, nice looking and who have partners who love them but who don't feel sexy because they don’t like their bodies. Find me a woman in this country who does think they have a great body! If you meet a model they will tell you about every imperfection-they are knock-kneed, their eyes are too far apart, they have a mole on their elbow. The ideal female body in this country is a large breasted fifteen year old. Not many mature women can meet an impossible ideal of female physique.
So many women won't allow their partners to see them naked because they aren't happy with their body. How can you enjoy sex or be free sexually if you are worried about what your partner is looking at instead of how you feel. So if you want to be sexy, accept your body for what it is, not what you think it should be.
Feel good about yourself, allow yourself to fully enjoy the pleasant sensations your body is willing to give to you without over-analyzing, and that's how to feel sexy. Our bodies are well designed to experience sexual pleasure if we will let our anxieties and inhibitions get out of the way.
How To Be Sexy For Your Partner:
Learning what your partner likes and feels comfortable with assures that you will be sexy to the other person. Each person is different. Some are uninhibited and can openly express what they like and don't like when they are having sex. Some communicate non-verbally but signals are pretty obvious with sex. All men and women are not alike. One person's turn-on is a huge turn-off for the next person. Sex is not a marathon or an athletic competition. Be open to the needs of your partner and you will be very sexy to them. Some people are sexually adventurous and some are not. Don't pretend to be anything other than who you are. If you are willing to try something to please a partner, that's great but your feelings matter too. Sex is a game of mutuality. Being open to a partner doesn't mean you have to do everything the other person wants. We are all entitled to our boundaries but they can be expressed with care and consideration. Playfulness is helpful in getting past areas of sexual incompatibility.
The Easiest Way To Feel Sexy: Falling In Love
New lovers who are crazy about each other have great sex. Falling in love is very closely tied to falling in lust and it is then we are at our most excited and unhibited. When we are in a new and exciting relationship, we can feel sexy most of the time. That's part of nature's design if our sexuality has not been damaged.
Most couples will be able to laugh about and share early sexual adventures. We don't have to repeat them continuously to feel the closeness and enthusiasm of those first days. Remembering them together for long-term couples is often a common way to rekindle sexual excitement.
Lust and love can strike at any age, it's not just for the young and beautiful. Older couples who may have thought they didn't know how to be sexy any more are often very surprised and delighted by the excitement that a new affair can bring.
Sex can be a wonderful gift that life gives us; a purely physical pleasure like eating a favorite food or feeling a warm sun on a cool day or a cool breeze when we are warm. Our bodies are designed to give us pleasure. Sometimes we just need to get our minds out of the way!
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