Heartbreak

15 Hard-To-Ignore Signs He's Cheating On You

Photo: unsplash / Nathan Dumlao
15 Hard-To-Ignore Signs He's Cheating On You

You’ve been happy with your partner for a while, but now, something feels wrong.

It’s the last thing you want to believe, but you wonder: is he cheating on me?

How can you tell for sure? More than anything, you want to trust him, and may, in turn, ignore some big signs of cheating.

RELATED: 10 Telltale Signs A Man Is Cheating On You

If you want to believe him, but something is nibbling away at the back of your mind, until you feel like you could be going crazy. You've reached the stage of doubting yourself.

Here are all the pointers you need and the signs you must pay attention to.

Here are 15 tell-tale signs he's cheating on you and your intuition was right all along:

1. You notice the "usual" signs of cheating

You'll notice the usual signs, especially if it happens more than once: Lipstick on his collar or clothes, unexpected marks indicative of sexual activity on his body, another woman’s scent on his clothes or hair.

2. He has increased his working hours

All of a sudden, he’s working longer hours or maybe he even has to travel, so he’s away from you overnight for a couple of days at a time or even longer.

This is especially incriminating when this is coupled with other signs, like sudden lifestyle expenses (drinks, meals, hotels) that don't include you.

These are clear pointers that he may well be playing away.

3. He’s not present

Even when he’s physically present, he’s off in his own world, and he’s not really there with you.

4. He cares about his appearance

This is all of a sudden, whether that means dressing better, sudden heavy use of aftershave, or an infatuation with the gym.

5. He develops a new enthusiasm about a woman coworker or friend

This is for a colleague at work, a newly single female or even a friend of yours. Suddenly, he’s talking about her a lot and only too willing to help her.

6. He starts keeping secrets

He’s become remarkably tight-lipped about some areas of his life away from you. In fact, he might even get angry with you if you keep bringing them up.

7. He doesn't notice you at all

You could probably wear a bag over your head, and he wouldn’t notice. Even when he "makes an effort" to be with you, he doesn’t really notice you.

Someone once told me she’d stuck a strand of her long hair in the flame during a candle-lit dinner with her husband and he didn’t notice!

8. You're getting hints from friends and family members

Chances are, they have your best interests at heart, and they know something you don’t.

RELATED: If He Does These 7 Things, He's Cheating On You (Or He's About To)

9. The frequency of his sexual desires change

For some men, cheating makes them pull away from their girlfriends or wives, but for others, they may actually increase the amount of sexual attention they pay you in an effort to compensate for their cheating.

Either way, when you’re physically intimate, the thought might jump into your head out of nowhere that he’s been unfaithful. Chances are that’s your body’s wisdom speaking.

10. Your intuition is screaming

It's yelling at you that he’s having an affair. You may not be able to substantiate what your intuition is saying, but that doesn’t stop it from being true.

Your intuition doesn’t have an agenda. It doesn’t want you to hold onto this man at all costs. It just tells you the truth that it picks up from a thousand subtle clues.

11. He accuses you of being jealous and/or crazy

Attacking is a cheater’s best form of defense. These are classic ploys for making you doubt yourself. Unless you are a habitually jealous person, you need to trust your gut.

(If you are a habitually jealous person, then you need to address your own issues as well as your current concerns.)

12. He constantly professes his love and devotion to you

Nice as these may be, they are just words. Unless he puts commitment and availability behind them, he’s just saying them to keep you sweet, so you don’t rock his boat.

If he really loves you, he’ll make the time and the effort to spend quality time with you — no matter how busy he is.

13. He shows you his accounts in an effort to dismiss other evidence

Doing this is not necessarily conclusive proof that he's not cheating. An accomplished cheat will have a mobile that you’ll never even seen, which he uses for his other woman/women.

The same goes for email accounts. As regards social media, unless he is an idiot, and/or wants you to find out, you probably won’t find any traces of her cheating on his social media pages.

14. He confesses to cheating but vows that it's all over

Serial cheaters often resort to this when they’re worried their cover has been blown or that they’ve pushed you too far. Once again, words are cheap, they need to prove long-term availability and commitment by being there for you, and working at making the relationship work.

15. He sweeps you away on a romantic break

Nice as this may be, you know that he’s a man who’s good at wooing and winning. You need to know exactly what is going to be different in the future, and what he’s prepared to do to keep the lines of loving communication open. If he can’t answer that, then there’s a problem.

If the signs stack up, then you have your answer. Now, you need to think about how you move forward; whether you can do that with a couple, or whether you need to start over. Either way, there is a fair amount of rethinking that you'll want to do, so that you never end up in this same place of hurt, heartbreak, and humiliation again.

If you're worried about what you must have been doing wrong, and how you can ever trust again, then help is at hand.

RELATED: 4 Body Language Signals That Mean He's Cheating On You

Dr. Annie Kaszina is an international speaker, women’s relationship expert, and author of over a dozen books and audio programs. For more, visit her website.