Self, Sex

What About The Man's Sexual Needs?

What about the man's sexual needs?

During an interview I was explaining how men could best please a woman.

I explained that men think—from their porno-sex-ed and general socialization— pleasing a woman means: (1) a big penis; (2) lasting a long time during intercourse; (3) making her orgasm.

These things are probably NOT what the average gal is looking for in the sexual experience. In fact, she’s probably craves something very different.

Instead she wants an emotional connection, intimacy and feeling that she’s being nurtured. ‘Sex’ for a woman will probably mean taking a bath, a massage or just sharing time together.

The clincher? No intercourse after said intimate connection as ‘the main event’ to wrap things up.

There was a long pause. The perplexed interviewer asked what every man wanted to know, “But what about the man’s sexual needs? Isn’t he going to walk away with ‘blue-balls’?”

In my head I was SCREAMING, “Why can’t men understand that most women walk away from the sex with ‘blue balls’ unsatisfied and unhappy with the experience?”

What men do to sexually satisfy their partners isn’t working. And to make matter worse, too many men refuse to learn and be open to new ideas.

On the other end women have a big part to play; not feeling confident or comfortable enough to say to their partner, “Hey, sex needs to be about what I want. And tonight it’s going to be an all-about-me-night; which means a full body massage and no intercourse. Next time we’ll focus on your fun.”

Because that conversation never happens, too many women are never truly fulfilled sexually.

I’ve said this about a bazillion times but apparently it bears repeating. When her sexual needs are met, she’s a lot more likely to be a more active and eager participant in the bedroom. Sex becomes a mutually satisfying experience.

The irony is when couples incorporate her ideas and create a space for intimacy and nurturing it only deepens the sexual experience. Making for mind blowing sex.

What about the man’s sexual needs indeed.