16 Ways To Successfully Rid Yourself Of The Energy Vampires In Your Life

Photo: unsplash / Brooke Cagle
How To Be Happy In Life By Removing Energy Vampires & Toxic Relationships

You want to learn how to be happy but energy vampires keep you from finding anything positive in life.

If you’re like most people, this has happened to you: you were talking to someone and before you knew it, their complaints, their whining, their negative attitudes, or their drama drained the life right out of you.

After they left, you looked for fang marks on your neck but they were nowhere to be found. Then, you realized that all vampires don’t have fangs.

Toxic relationships can drain the life out of you just like those mystic creatures we've learned to fear.

RELATED: How To Deal With Energy Vampires (The Negative People Who Drain Your Emotions)

Energy vampires have other means to suck your energy, like negative comments and punching holes in your dreams. They drain not just our energy, but they suck the joy out of our lives!

On the flip side, we all know people who seem to exude energy. These are the folks who are full of vitality and enthusiasm.

They can’t wait to dive into the day and make getting everything done seem easy. When you pass them in the office hallway, they have a pep in their step and a smile on their face.

You might gaze at these highly energetic people with wonder over the sheer volume of tasks they accomplish during the day, while still attending school events, church, and their book club.

Maybe once, you were full of energy, too. And while it’s often true that energy vampires come in the form of other people, sometimes they’re found staring back at you in the mirror.

Sometimes, the energy vampires are actually in the lifestyle choices we make.

No matter where your energy vampires may be rising up, learning how to rid your world of these life-draining emotional monsters is crucial to finding happiness and living the life you truly desire. You can learn how to be happy again and be more positive.

The tips below include some natural ways to increase your energy, vanquish the energy-stealing vampires and toxic relationships, and help you to continue curating the life you love.

There are also some attractive, energy-enhancing suggestions for how to spend your precious time.

So, here are the 16 ways to rid yourself of energy vampires in your life so you can be happy and positive.

1. Ditch the drama queens in your life

If you hang out with drama queens, you will become one. And anyone that has been around drama knows how exhausting it can be!

Remind yourself that someone else’s drama is not yours. Spend less time with those who fan the flames of drama.

2. Remove energy drains from social media feeds

Do your uncle’s political rants raise your blood pressure? Unfriend him. Does the news feed from your favorite newspaper irritate you? Unlike them.

Yes, my dear, un-follow the Negative Nellie’s from Twitter and un-friend (or hide) the Facebook friends that only complain. Only follow people on social media that fuel your precious energy.

3. Connect with folks who make you excited about life

Sure, drama queens have good stories, but they drain your energy. Yes, those political pundits can be interesting, but debates get exhausting.

Choose to spend time with folks who lift you up with their happiness and positivity. That will fuel your own energy by the example of their own choices.

Reconnect with an old friend, ask the new gal in the office to go to lunch, or reach out to that sister-in-law of yours that always makes you laugh. Follow inspiring and uplifting folks on Facebook and Twitter.

4. Complain less

Complaining is a choice to focus on the problem instead of seeking a solution. Complaining rewires your brain to the negative and shuts down your ability to solve problems.

The more you complain, the more your brain will bring about those negative thoughts...and the more drained of energy you will be.

When it comes to your romantic relationships, The Gottman Institute found that couples who share negative interactions are more likely to divorce early.

What’s worse since our brains are wired to the negative, we are more likely to believe criticism over compliments, which destroys our confidence. It also drains your energy. So, indulge in some positive thinking, instead.

5. Say "no" more often

Nothing drains your energy more than doing something you just don’t want to do.

I’m not just talking about turning down additions to an already busy schedule. One super important secret of people who always have energy is that they know when they’ve reached maximum capacity — and how to simplify.

Say "no" to that holiday party, tell the PTA you can’t bake cupcakes by tomorrow, and work with your boss to ensure a better work-life balance. Remind yourself that every item on your task list is there by choice, not because of obligation.

6. Make quality sleep a priority

I’m sure you’ve heard that our bodies need sleep in order to reinvigorate and renew, but it goes deeper.

Our bodies need periods of rest that are long enough to synthesize our hormones, grow muscle and repair our damaged tissues. Sleep debt is real and it’s also really a problem — one that can lead to a whole host of health issues along with your daily dose of fatigue.

According to the National Sleep Foundation, adults need between seven and nine hours per night. And this isn’t an "average" number, where you can get five hours of sleep most days and then sleep in on the weekend. This means making at least seven hours of sleep per night, and every night, a priority.

Quality sleep, which is more closely tied to a consistent sleep schedule. It’s also something you can’t snooze away in a single weekend. Instead, focus on getting a good night’s sleep every night.

7. Be grateful

Happy people are grateful for the life they live. Every night before you go to bed, write down at least three things you are thankful for.

Remind yourself what’s good in your life. Going to sleep with gratitude on your mind will bring you a more positive approach when you wake to a new day.

Gratitude rewires your brain for joy — joyful people have more energy.

8. Don’t forget about sex

People who have regular sex keep their hormones and neurotransmitters flowing, optimally. This means that your brain releases all sorts of feel-good chemicals that make life’s challenges seem much easier to conquer.

When we have sex, we are also satisfying the primal needs of human connection. Though sex may exhaust you in the moments afterward, begin paying attention to what happens with your mind and body in the 24 hours after sex.

No matter how you slice it, sex amps up your energy stores.

RELATED: 4 Things To Do When Faced With An ‘Energy Vampire’ Who’s Stealing Your Positive Vibes

9. Speaking of the night before, an evening routine will set you up for success

Is there anything more energy-draining than to hunt for your keys when you’re trying to get out the door?

Create a launchpad for each family member, lay out clothes for the next day, and do other tasks to help make mornings easier like set the coffee pot up the night before.

10. Fuel your day with solid morning routines

Routines are about managing your energy effectively so that you can channel it towards your real desires and purpose.

Routines fuel your day and nourish your spirit. When you make the decision to take charge of how you spend your time, you begin to move off of dead center. You also bring calming energy to your day.

11. Amp up your energy by pairing your routines with a morning ritual

It doesn’t matter if you are an introvert or extrovert, you need to connect with yourself.

Whether it’s the way in which you make your first cup of tea in the morning, choosing to meditate before you shower, or sitting and reading something uplifting before you head to work, rituals are energy-giving.

Consistently starting your morning with something you enjoy will invigorate your mind and body and send you out into the day with a sense of purpose.

12. Tidy up and clear your clutter

Long ago, I learned that a messy room exhausted me. To have more energy for your life, be like Mary Poppins (or Marie Kondo) and tidy up your space.

Too much stuff and clutter will always drain your energy.

13. Get outside to naturally fuel your energy stores

If you’re feeling drained, just a few moments in mother nature can give you a boost of calming energy. A series of studies published in the June 2010 issue of the Journal of Environmental Psychology found that being out in nature made people feel more energetic after spending time in natural sightings.

Additional research by doctors found that patients recovering from surgery and heart problems had shorter hospital stays and needed less pain medication when they saw nature out their hospital window versus seeing a brick wall.

What this means for the average person is that being out in nature will tilt your mood to the positive.

14. Move your body

It seems a little counterintuitive, but one of the best ways to add some extra pep to your step is to take more of them.

Exercise is excellent at clearing brain clutter, triggering the release of endorphins and reducing stress and anxiety. The result? A happier, more productive and energetic you.

You don’t have to go to the gym or pump iron. Go for a walk, dance around your house, do some jumping jacks, play with your dog — just move your body!

15. Fuel your body with good foods

I’m all about that first cup of coffee, but don’t rely upon sugar and caffeine to fuel your body. Sure, you may have a spike of energy immediately after, but you’ll also likely crash.

Choose to eat a well-balanced diet of whole foods over fast foods. You must fuel your body with quality food and adequate water in order to have the energy to go about your day!

16. Play adds to your energy levels

Brene Brown’s research found that one of the commonalities in people who exhibit wholehearted (read: energetic, engaged) living is that they play.

Play doesn’t have to be overly formal, it doesn’t have to involve balls or a team, and it doesn’t have to result in winners and losers.

Play can be almost anything, as long as it’s something you want to do, find enjoyable, and allows you to lose track of time and just have fun.

Stoke the fires of productivity, efficiency, and positivity to cultivate an empowered and nourishing life.

Doing so will help you manage your energy so that even if you have a lot on your plate, you avoid feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. This is when the energy vampires find their strength, and when we must be ever-vigilant about keeping them at bay.

So, stay positive! Don't let the energy vampires drain you of that powerful life force you have!

Vanquish them and you'll discover you're immune to feeling exhausted and burned out and you'll live the happy life you've always wanted!

RELATED: How To Tell If You're An Empath Or An Energy Vampire

Debra Smouse is a life coach and author who discovered that when she vanquished the energy vampires in her life, she no longer felt overwhelmed or exhausted. Get a free e-book from Debra as well as her bi-weekly love note with tips to creating a life YOU love.

This article was originally published at Debra Smouse. Reprinted with permission from the author.