Deborrah Cooper, MA, Other - Expert

"Deborrah, I just wanted to say thank you for your words of wisdom. I emailed you approx 2 months ago on how to handle a Male Afraid To Commit situation after 13 years. Well I dropped the bomb and released my self. He is continuously calling on me to be his everything, but what you wrote encouraged me and gave me the will to say...Move Away Mountain..Be Gone. I am now dating a wonderful man who as no phobias. And wants me for my intelligence, strong will and beautiful smile. The way he's talking, I'll be sending you the wedding invite sooner rather than later! Thanks again!

Nichole"

"Thanks for your advice Deborrah. I needed to hear some hard-hitting opinion.

I was not sure how to feel because I did not initiate contact with man. I am shy person and keep pretty much to myself. I am in school and usually study at my desk during breaks and lunch. I never paid this man any attention until I noticed him watching me, walking pass my desk several times, popping up wherever I was, and coming up talking to people around me, even interrupting with some unnecessary comment to someone with whom I was talking . At first, I thought this was creepy, but later I was flattered. I have always been told that I was pretty, but because there are a lot of attractive female employees, and was surprised that I would stand out.

I did not see a wedding ring on his finger and did not ask around because I did not want to arouse any suspicions, even from my own supervisor who I get along very well (this guy is also a supervisor, just not mine). The only person, I asked was my former rider, who I have since distanced myself. I just did not understand why after several weeks of showing up around me, even going out of his way, he abruptly stopped.

Now he watches me from afar and though, he doesn't eat in the cafeteria, he showed up at the entrance a few times, stood, look over at me before turning around and walking away. I don't know what his issues are or if he is with someone or not (I am not interested in another woman's man, under any circumstances).

I did not think about the work-related angle, until you mentioned it and I'm very glad you did. I decided not to obsess over him, and concentrate more on my studies. I put in a request to transfer to another department on a different shift; I was told it would be approved. I am looking forward to the change.

Thanks again for your honest and no-nonsense advice. I truly appreciated it."