Communication Problems

Years in Practice

10 years +


Pleasanton CA 94588 - United States


MA, Other

Additional Expertise

, , , ,

I Practice in

All areas, please inquire



I Believe

Selecting the right person to love is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. Deborrah will help you prepare for romantic success with one-on-one dating coaching, providing you with a reality check about your search criteria. She’ll also provide you with an understanding of the dating games some singles play, modern dating etiquette, and strategies for dating success. Bullseye coaching is an direct, focused and very powerful mode of coaching that gets right to the core of an issue. Bullseye Coaching can be useful if you are suffering from loss of motivation or fear of change, or if you just need a good old-fashioned kick in the butt to get your love life or yourself back on track.

About Deborrah Cooper

Deborrah is the resident advice columnist of three popular blogs: AskHeartBeat.Com, S.F. Examiner.Com, and SurvivingDating.Com, where she writes under both her name and the pen name "Ms. HeartBeat." Online since 1997, AskHeartBeat was the first site on the web to focus on the romantic dilemmas of African American and interracial couples. Her blog Surviving Dating - Making Smarter Choices in Love! launched in 2007. Deborrah has served as the San Francisco Dating Advice Examiner for several years as well. She is also the author of hundreds of articles on dating and relationships for modern singles and the hilarious dating guide "Sucka Free Love: How to Avoid Dating The Dumb The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional and The Deranged!" available on Amazon.

She also hosts the Date Smarter Not Harder relationships talk show on BlogTalkRadio on Sunday nights; the show airs live starting at 5:30 p.m. (PST).

A former player, she has retired her player card and now prefers to spend her time writing and speaking to single adults and teens, encouraging everyone to make smarter choices in life and love.

Deborrah Cooper Success Stories

After Dating for 13 Years Why Won't He Commit?

Dating couples

A young woman sought advice about her boyfriend of more than a decade, and his non-committal attitude. She wanted marriage and he had every excuse in the book why he didn't want to marry her. She ultimately felt insecure, depressed and unloved. She wrote asking me for advice on how much more time she should invest in a relationship that was obviously going nowhere fast.more

"Deborrah, I just wanted to say thank you for your words of wisdom. I emailed you approx 2 months ago on how to handle a Male Afraid To Commit situation after 13 years. Well I dropped the bomb and released my self. He is continuously calling on me to be his everything, but what you wrote encouraged me and gave me the will to say...Move Away Mountain..Be Gone. I am now dating a wonderful man who as no phobias. And wants me for my intelligence, strong will and beautiful smile. The way he's talking, I'll be sending you the wedding invite sooner rather than later! Thanks again!


Interracial Workplace Romance - Is He Interested in Me and Should I Pursue This?

Single women

This client was advised to concern herself more with her job as a new employee and to consider the fact that perhaps the guy in question, though certainly curious about her, just might have other issues to contend with which would make him hesitant. Her letter of thanks appears below:more

"Thanks for your advice Deborrah. I needed to hear some hard-hitting opinion.

I was not sure how to feel because I did not initiate contact with man. I am shy person and keep pretty much to myself. I am in school and usually study at my desk during breaks and lunch. I never paid this man any attention until I noticed him watching me, walking pass my desk several times, popping up wherever I was, and coming up talking to people around me, even interrupting with some unnecessary comment to someone with whom I was talking . At first, I thought this was creepy, but later I was flattered. I have always been told that I was pretty, but because there are a lot of attractive female employees, and was surprised that I would stand out.

I did not see a wedding ring on his finger and did not ask around because I did not want to arouse any suspicions, even from my own supervisor who I get along very well (this guy is also a supervisor, just not mine). The only person, I asked was my former rider, who I have since distanced myself. I just did not understand why after several weeks of showing up around me, even going out of his way, he abruptly stopped.

Now he watches me from afar and though, he doesn't eat in the cafeteria, he showed up at the entrance a few times, stood, look over at me before turning around and walking away. I don't know what his issues are or if he is with someone or not (I am not interested in another woman's man, under any circumstances).

I did not think about the work-related angle, until you mentioned it and I'm very glad you did. I decided not to obsess over him, and concentrate more on my studies. I put in a request to transfer to another department on a different shift; I was told it would be approved. I am looking forward to the change.

Thanks again for your honest and no-nonsense advice. I truly appreciated it."

Deborrah Cooper Articles