Resistance To Love? How To Overcome It For Good

Resistance is natural and a doorway to everything you want.

Resistance To Love?

When you are trying to change your love life, you will always meet resistance from your ego. Not logical, your ego is conditioned to keep you in the status quo even if normal feels so abnormal to you. The resistance can either keep you stuck or it can be a tool for transformation that leads you to your greatest dreams.

Most people do not understand resistance or how awesome it is when you bump up against it. Imagine that you are in a room with four walls and that room is your life as it is right now. There are things outside of your current life that you want, beyond the walls of your limited perception. The only way to move beyond the room to greater love is through the door of resistance. It is the pathway to your dreams.


Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. You cannot make a change in your love life without making a change in your inner life. You are wired to have the relationship experience that is in your limited room. Different faces, but ultimately same pattern. If you stay in the same mental room, you get the same results out there.

When we move toward a new experience, the ego’s alarms go off inside because it knows you trying to escape and change the pattern. The ego tries to trip us up to distract us with things so we will return to the safety of our old ways. These appear to be bad dates, a fight with a friend or family member, a layoff from a job and sometimes even an ex-lover returning to seduce us.  The ego is also skilled to use our negative thinking patterns to frighten us back with anxiety and fear.


I see this happen all the time with people who are excited to join a new program with me but then put off making the decision or convince themselves they should wait for the right time. They keep dancing around it as the ego flashes bright shiny objects to distract them from the sure thing that can lead them to true love. Avoiding anything that requires change, the ego will try to convince you that what you are about to do is unpleasant or the wrong way to go. You may have experienced this when you signed up for a course or coaching or therapy program and felt the pull to give up, avoid certain lessons or justify that you are just too busy. That is the ego winning again and keeping you in your old room.

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The really amazing thing is that this also happens when you meet a great match and good things happen. You find yourself rejecting the person, being overly critical of them, seeing them as needy and avoiding them. Sometimes they stick around and other times they just give up. When they leave, your ego feels a sense of relief but you have this weird, confused feeling as if you wonder why you couldn’t just let the guy into your heart.

The good news is that resistance is a sign that you are changing and on the RIGHT track. Even if the external experience seems unpleasant, if you can recognize it for what it is…you will stop taking it so seriously and keep pushing beyond it. Think of it as a doorway to a new future. It may take some effort to open the door but the reward is great on the other side.


If you are doing personal growth work and not meeting resistance then you aren’t getting to the root of change. I see people try to bypass resistance with fancy tricks and healing tools but this actually keeps you more stuck. If it feels too easy, there is no growth. No growth equals more of the same. Think of it like going to the gym and walking on the treadmill 1 mile per hour and wondering why you haven’t lost any weight!

Resistance doesn’t have to be traumatic either, unless you avoid it so much that it takes something drastic to get you to finally change. There is a divine force working through you that is always pushing you for more growth. Your true self wants to be more and have more of everything of life. It is the friction of the divine force and resistance that draws out your character, tests your faith and prepares you for the next level of your life experience.

Resistance prepares you for the greatest love of your life. The process naturally cleanses you of the barriers you placed long ago that you no longer need and reveals your true nature. It is the great loofah sponge of life! You glow, shine and attract a higher-level match from your authentic self on the other side.