How To Find Love, If You Feel Like You're *This Close* To Being Over It

Photo: getty
Unlucky In Love? Why You Shouldn't Shut The Door

Life was so simple when you were young and not so hyper-focused on learning how to find love. You enjoyed dating and just assumed Mr. Right would show up when the stars were aligned.

After playing in the dating pool and following love advice, you made a decision that you were ready for love and the lightness seemed to change. The search for the one became a serious mission and a process of dating drudgery.

RELATED: 20 Crucial Things You'll Learn About Dating In Your 20s

Along the journey from single to relationship there are ups and downs. You revel in the excitement of meeting someone new, and then feel the despair of the person blowing you off or saying they aren't ready for a commitment. This also happens when you set yourself on a personal development path with great enthusiasm knowing that you have the power to change your love life.

Diving into the latest technique, you get enthusiastic believing if you could just visualize your goal everything will fall into place. As time wears on and no dates are in sight, you then start to get down on yourself as though nothing will ever change.

Whether you are starting a new business or setting the course for true love, the path isn't always simple and clean. Along the way there are setbacks, disappointments, and fears to face.

Often when people are presented with those obstacles, they get discouraged and start to shut down. Closing the mental door to the possibility of success, they get sidetracked from their vision and start to have more faith in failure than their dreams.

When you close the doors and shut down, it is your ego's way of staying in control. You believe that what is out there is more powerful than you. You feel dwarfed by the external results and the ability to control your destiny.

If you hold this energy it doesn't match what you want, it matches what you don't want. You continue to create more of what you don't want and spiral down in the wrong mental direction.

The most powerful thing you can do in these times of desperation is to keep opening the door to the possibility. Stop going in reverse, closing down, and shift into the energy of opening up to move you forward. Even when everything out there is showing you the opposite, you must hold the vision of what you want. You must keep opening up to receive.

RELATED: How To Stay Motivated If Finding Someone To Date Seems Impossible

Some people have lived decades in patterns of behavior that has led to their lack of love or money. A few weeks of positive thinking may not be enough to turn the tide. You may have to use extreme mental force to resist the temptation of shutting down and giving up in the beginning of your journey.

When you force that door open in your mind consistently, you will start to see new opportunities flowing to you. This becomes easier with practice and eventually your new habit of being. 

You see this happening with small things like when you wake up in a good mood and get green lights all the way to your destination. If you are in your own business you see the sales ebb and flow with your energy.

I also don't have to remind you of the familiar feast or famine syndrome in dating you probably know very well. Everything follows a specific energy and that energy is directed by you.

There is so much hidden in the subconscious mind that you cannot expect your life to go smoothly all the time. You can't clear every block, so s*** is going to hit the fan every once in a while. If you can maintain your mental focus during times of despair, you have mastered your life.

This is true freedom. You can choose to stay stuck in a funk, or pick yourself up and keep moving toward what you want.

An easy way to do this is to imagine your big, powerful self larger than any problem in your life. Whether you need to pay bills, find true love or land that perfect job, you are the one who can make it happen when you stand in your power.

Follow the flow of energy that opens up the doors for you to step through to your greatest dreams. You always have the key — the door is only locked by your own limited thinking. As you open up to receive with patience and trust, you will reach your true destiny in love and life.

RELATED: 3 Things You Must Do Before You Can Find True Love

Debi Maldonado is the CEO of the Academy of Jungian Spiritual Psychology, a personal development company, developed with her husband, Dr. Rob Maldonado. She has been featured by ABC News, FOX News, NBC News, Cosmopolitan, Huffington Post, Publisher’s Weekly, and more.