How To Stop Your Partner From Screaming At You (And When To Walk Away)

Photo: weheartit
yelling at your spouse
Heartbreak

You don't deserve that.

When couples resort to screaming, yelling, and swearing at each other, the respect and the foundation of the marriage will deteriorate. A spouse under no circumstance has the right to treat the other person in that manner. The end result of this type of communication is that the person who is being screamed at will eventually become numb to their spouse.

All of the love, affection and, respect they had for each other will vanish. When two people disrespect each other in this way, neither person's point will be heard and there will be no resolution to the problem.

When did it become acceptable to scream and swear at your spouse? This is one of the worst forms of communication that takes place in a marriage.


RELATED: Pssst, Ladies: Here's The Secret To Getting Men To Listen To You!


Being a Bully

Screaming and swearing is a part of being a bully and trying to dominate and control the other person in the marriage. The person doing the screaming may think that they have gotten the other person to change or agree with them but the truth is that they just bullied the other spouse and forced them into a corner. No one likes to be screamed at or called names; the person who uses this type of communication usually has low self-esteem and a lack of proper communication skills.

Changing your spouse's behavior will not work. You must start with your own in order to save your marriage.

When there is a problem in the relationship and it's causing the marriage to fail, one or both of the spouses will often look to the other spouse to change in the situation, rather than addressing their part in it.

Stop taking the abuse.

If your spouse treats you in this manner, then you must put a stop to it. This is unacceptable behavior and must not be tolerated.

The screaming may be a man at a woman, but the truth is that there are many wives who bully and abuse their husbands, too.

How do we change a marriage in which a spouse screams, calls names, and puts you down?

The answer is you walk away from them, you leave the house, you pack your bags and you go. Unless you change the way in which you respond to them, they will continue to bully you. You have to stand up for yourself and not allow this to happen.

Many times, a spouse will justify this behavior and say that the person can’t control or it or that they have a short temper or any other excuses they can think of. The truth is that most people can control their temper, but they choose not to because they have been allowed to get away with the bad behavior.

One way to prove this scenario that they do indeed have control is to ask yourself these questions:

  • Do they fly off the handle at work?
  • Do they act this way around friends?
  • Do they act this way in public?

If you answered "no" to any of these questions, then the spouse that is bullying you can control their temper. They are just choosing not to around you.

If your spouse truly can’t control their temper, then you need to leave and stay with someone safe. That is a person who has allowed themselves to be out of control and may become violent. This situation might even be more prevalent after they drink or take drugs.

Most people are able to control themselves if expected to.

The majority of bullying from a spouse can be controlled. If you want the name calling and yelling to stop, then you must do something dramatic to let them know that you are serious and you have had enough. Living in a marriage with a spouse that yells at you and calls you names is not normal and can be very damaging to your self-esteem.

It's also toxic for any children you are raising in that environment. Tell your spouse calmly and directly that you will leave the next time that they behave in this manner and put an end to it now. But make sure that you actually do leave when you say you will!


RELATED: 5 Ways To Talk So He Will Listen — REALLY, Truly Listen


Dr. Dawn Michael is an international certified clinical sexologist and relationship expert.  She is the co-owner of The Sexual Health and Wellness Center in Southern California. Her writing has appeared on Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Huffington Post, Fox News and NBC News. You can reach her at www.thehappyspouse.com and follow her on Twitter.

Author
Expert