Community Blog: Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It


Did you know that over 75% of the way we relate to one another is based on non-verbal communication? For so long, all we've heard from relationship "gurus" and experts is, "good communication is the key to a successful relationship." It's true, but most of the time, they either don't tell us what they mean by that or they try to teach us talking and listening skills that they say will do the trick. Granted, knowing how to give and receive verbally is an important skill to have on order to get along at your optimal level… but, even more important, based on researched fact, is to be able to use your non-verbal skills to seal the deal! Let's take a closer look at some non-verbal communications we may not be being conscious of when hangin' with our honey:

1. Posture makes a huge statement when relating to others. If you're slouched over and leaning back, what are you saying? To me, it most likely means that you're disinterested or too tired to really focus on what's going on. On the other hand, if you're sitting up straight and leaning in to your lover, even if you're just eating a meal together, without saying a word, you're saying, "I want to be close to you and see every feature that your face has to offer." Be careful not to be too much in their face, though... give them some room to!

2. That brings us to facial expressions. You're out together for a social night at a friend's birthday party. You glance across the room and notice your partner standing at the bar. As he/she is about to turn their head in your direction, you decide you'd like to send them a message with a look. What do you do? Look in the mirror and practice some facial expressions that send a message that you'd want your honey to see that says, "I am the luckiest person in the world to be here with you! You are so sexy!" Then, try it next time you're out ... worst comes to worst, you'll get a good laugh out of it when you tell him about your plan later :o)

3. A hand signal or handshake can be an amazing tool for couples to use to communicate without speaking. My honey and I have a handshake that we use to remind ourselves not to argue about petty things. If either of us feels anger being triggered, we take a deep breath and stick out our hand to do the handshake. When we see that hand, we know what it means and it works almost every time!

4. Sweet gestures say more than any words could EVER say! When sharing a dessert, giving your honey the last bite or the bigger half tells them that they are more important than the food. Walking to the front door when you hear your spouse coming home after work and greeting them with a big smile, kiss and hug can set the stage for a lovely evening together. One of THE BEST gestures is to send a fun gift basket or extravagant floral arrangement to your honey's work; it always feels good for co-workers to know that you are truly loved and have a great home life!
So remember, talking can sometimes be overrated. Show your love instead of saying it and watch as your relationship gets better and better!