The Scary Behavior That Turns Guys Off Immediately

By Ronnie Ann Ryan — Written on Jun 24, 2016

Photo: WeHeartIt

On a first date, do you know the single emotion men dread most? It might not be what you think.

You might think they hate to deal with sadness from a past relationship or a woman who appears needy. Granted, those are two impressions that probably won't bode well for a second date either. But they aren't the worst.

The most feared and disliked emotion that a woman can display is anger. Yes, anger. An angry woman is very unpleasant for a man to deal with. She's got a lot of energy about her anger and often will share it freely. And that is a major turnoff and a very big problem for most men.

As a dating coach for the past 10 years, I have access to and frequently talk with single men. They come to me as clients too, which creates the best research opportunity for my women clients. One thing I can tell you without hesitation is that the men I speak to have all talked about the "angry woman" and how unpleasant she is.

One of my clients explained how he had met a woman at a singles group who took his number. Laura, the woman, called Paul, my client, over the weekend and he invited her to a group event. They decided to take mass transit together to get to the event.

Paul said this ended up being a huge mistake. Since he hadn't spent much time with her the first time he met her, he had no idea what she was about beyond seeming to be nice.

What happened on the subway ride, you ask? Laura proceeded to rant about the guy she just broke up with. She was incredibly angry and over-shared personal information because Paul was kind.

She told him she felt comfortable with him and continued to rail against her ex for 30 minutes straight. Nonetheless, Paul deeply regretted taking the train with Laura.

Here's another similar story. Angelo is 61 and a widower. He is an even-tempered guy who is actively dating and looking for love. I was talking with him about what turns him off the most. His immediate answer was "women who are angry!"

Angelo told me when he meets a woman like this, he does his best to keep the date short, so he doesn't have be dragged down by her poor emotional state. Can you blame him? Take a moment right now and think about your last first date. Or maybe even some of the emails you have shared with men on sites like Match.com.

Have you expressed anger about the men you've met, frustration about the dating process or your bad experience with online dating? If you can think of times when this has happened, it's time to shift gears and become more aware of how you present yourself to men.

From your profile, first email and first date, you are being sized up, just as you are sizing up the men too. My advice as a dating coach is to put your best foot forward. In other words: Do not share stories about your ex, your job or dating if they are negative and you feel angry about them.

Its time to do something about your anger. You are completely entitled to your emotions and I'm not here to negate them at all. However, if you want to attract a good man, you'll need to dissipate some of that anger first so you aren't a turn off. Here are a few ways to do this: