And here's what NOT to do while he's figuring out how he really feels ...
By Christian Carter — Written on Jan 13, 2015
What if I told you that it's normal for your boyfriend to experience doubts and fears about being with you, and that this could be HEALTHY and exactly what you need to experience and deal with BEFORE you spend the rest of your lives together?
Would you be willing to accept that and find a way to understand how you both can learn and grow from this?
As much as it feels awful, I know from experience that all men and women have to deal with their own fears, discomforts and challenges when they begin to weave their lives closer together.
Especially when they make huge changes in their lives together—like an engagement and living together.
Here's the thing ...
Most men and women like to think that in a relationship, it should almost always feel comfortable and safe and "easy".
And, most men and women have the strong subconscious belief that couples in good, long-term committed relationships were just "lucky" enough to find that magic person who eliminates all the resistance, obstacles, and challenges that other couples experience.
But, the opposite is true.
What REALLY happens in close, connected relationships:
Open, honest, "real" relationships still have lots of challenges, doubts, phases, and fears in them.
In fact, in a way, they have MORE CHALLENGES because both people are truly open and honest about who they are and what they're feeling.
The difference is how both people in the relationship accept, understand, and deal with these "realities."
Do you panic, creating more emotional uncertainty, drama, and negative disconnected feelings?
Or, are you calm, confident, and assured in a way that lets a man know things aren't difficult and tiresome with you?
The last thing you want to do if he's having doubts ...
There's something women do in relationships with men that can kill attraction and lead to a complete breakdown in communication.
When a man starts to have doubts about a relationship, a woman will often try to talk him into why he shouldn't have these doubts. She'll tell him all the reasons why they make a great couple and why they should stay together.
This kind of convincing behavior is almost guaranteed to backfire. Why? Because it's natural for humans to resist when something or someone is trying to push them down a certain path. In fact, men thrive when they can reach a conclusion without outside pressure.
Understanding attraction and how it works is absolutely critical if you want to create a connected, lasting relationship with a man. To learn more about the kind of woman a great guy wants for the long term, subscribe to Christian's free e-newsletter. He'll tell you what makes a guy want to commit to you, and what you can do to get him there without any convincing or game playing.