How To Keep The Love Alive In Your Relationship When You're Struggling With Depression
You will get through this — together.
unsplash / J E S U S R O C H A Depression is not the easiest thing to conquer — especially when you're in a relationship.
It's very difficult to participate in working on having a healthy relationship when you can't even fathom getting up to shower.
Everyone is different when it comes to dealing with depression and how it affects you.
That being said, some of the advice for how to get through it may need to be tweaked to suit your life and lifestyle.
Some of these ideas may help and some may help generate ideas that work for you.
I feel your pain and fight the demon of depression, so please know you are not alone.
Here are 5 important ways for you to deal with depression while staying active in your relationship (no matter how depressed you're feeling):
1. Keep a journal with your spouse
A journal between the two of you is a good way to keep in contact or write little messages to each other when one is away or not around.
You can write how you're feeling to your significant other or just a quick note letting them know you love them and care about them.
This also keeps the dialect and communication open between the two of you. Some people have a more positive experience with writing rather than talking.
Others may be able to write better than they speak. Whatever it is you and your partner agree to do, stick to it. It's easy to drop the ball when depression is involved. Depression knows no limits.
2. Go on date nights
Schedule date night. Whether it is something to do inside or going out to see a movie, just something where the two of you can spend time together and be with each other.
Life is chaotic and throws many curve balls out of nowhere, so it's easy to let this fall by the wayside. Do not allow it to become a habit.
3. Get a card (or make one!)
This is just a loving gesture that helps your significant other feel cared about.
It also gives a sense of security to the other that you care about them and wanted to make sure they know they are special.
4. Both you and your spouse agree to ask each other, "What do you need?"
Be straightforward with the other. Tell the other what you need and don't be afraid to ask the other for help.
Often times, you feel you have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders — but you don't.
You can ask for help. It doesn't mean you're weak or incapable. It shows strength and courage to ask someone to fight this battle of depression with you.
5. Ask about your spouse's day
This helps show you care about them regardless of how you're feeling or if you had a bad day. It also opens the line of communication, which is critical for relationship success with or without depression.
This is also a way to take yourself out of your own mind and funk and focus on something else. It gives your mind a break to focus on what is important to you and for the relationship.
This is not going to be easy. It may seem easy at first to some people and for others, it may seem like a daunting and dreadful chore. I know both sides.
But you've got to put every effort forth to show in little ways that you are in fact still in the relationship.
If you're struggling with holding up your side of the relationship because depression is being tough, you got this. You can keep your relationship strong with just a little help.
Brittney Lindstrom is a licensed professional counselor and certified rehabilitation counselor. For more information on how she can help you overcome obstacles in your life, contact her on Twitter.