You're not doomed forever.
By Brittney Lindstrom — Written on Oct 11, 2017
If our continuous efforts to have a successful relationship have been an epic fail, we need to look internally at what we could possibly be doing or how we may feel that is hindering our ability to have a prospering relationship. Because we all deserve a love so pure and true that we feel nothing but happiness from the moment we wake up to the moment we put our heads on our pillows.
1. Relationships that didn’t work out have made us bitter about love.
We've all had our hearts broken at one time or another and it sucks. I'm not going to sugarcoat it for you.
It does leave you with a bitter taste in your mouth but if you don't deal with the heartbreak and past experiences, more often than not, your relationships will end.
Related: If You Want Your Relationship To Last, STOP Doing These 6 Things
2. So we use our past to predict our future…
This can be any form of abuse, neglect or anything a person feels was psychologically harmful to them and their development. If you haven't worked through these issues, better start now if you want success in any of your relationships.
If you don't cope with the trauma, your negative feelings are likely to present themselves in your relationships. So, do it for yourself and for your future significant other.
3. Instead of looking at our behaviors and actions in present situations.
For some reason, many people have a difficult time admitting their faults. In every situation, I can almost guarantee that you can find a behavior, action, reaction or statement that was wrong or inappropriate and own it. If you can't, then the relationship is doomed.
4. As a result, our standards are sky high.
Let's be clear here. I am not saying to throw away all of your standards because that would welcome all types of people, including narcissists, into your life.
I am saying that there are going to be a few things you'll need to compromise or waiver on. Newsflash people, we are not getting any younger and the pool of choices gets smaller and smaller as we age.
5. And we appoint "deal breakers" to protect our hearts.
We're all guilty of doing this. We all have said "if he/she does this...we're done," or something similar to it. Well, it's like setting the person and a potential relationship up for failure before it even started. It's time to knock it off with these deal breakers and learn to embrace the flaws of another person.
Related: Do NOT Say 'I Love You' Until You Can Honestly Answer These 5 Q's
6. Because our self-esteem isn’t as high as it used to be.
You should not be putting your worth and how you feel about yourself in the hands of someone else. It will end up failing you and hurting you 9 times out of 10.
You need to learn about yourself and figure out who you are as a person because only then will you be able to determine what you want and don't want out of a relationship.
If there is one thing I can't stress enough it is that only you have the power to define your worth and who you are, so take the time to do that.
7. To the point where we fear of being with the right person.
If all you've known is pain and heartache, you're probably hesitant when someone treats you as you deserve to be treated. Establish your worth and settle for no less.
The energy you put out will likely attract a similar type. So if you're happy, positive and strong, you will most likely attract someone who exhibits those characteristics.
8. We have this notion that we have to give up who we are when we’re in a relationship.
You should never have to give up who you have worked so hard to become just because you enter a relationship. You should still have your independence as a person as well as who you are as a person. No one should ever make you sacrifice that.
9. Because we have a hard time trusting others.
We question whether or not someone is lying or if they actually mean it when they say ‘I love you.’ Before getting into a relationship, make sure you work through those experiences so you don't project those feelings onto someone else.
This article was originally published at Pucker Mob. Reprinted with permission from the author.