Years in Practice

25 years +


St Paul MN 55116 - United States


LP, M.Psych, MDiv

Additional Expertise

Author, Counselor/Therapist, Divorce Recovery Coach, Life Coach, Marriage/Couples Counselor, Personal Development Coach, Psychotherapist, Relationship Coach, Sex Therapist, Speaker/Presenter, Wellness Coach

I Practice in

All areas, please inquire



I Believe

"Love feels good; love feels bad, and the reasons are anything but simple."

About Brenda Schaeffer

I am author of bestselling Is It Love or Is It Addiction?, a licensed psychologist, sex and love addiction specialist, trauma expert,  international speaker, communications consultant, spiritual teacher, and trainer of therapists. In addition, I am a member of the American Academy of Health Care Providers in Addictive Disorders, International Transactional Analysis Association, the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health, and International Association of Enneagram Teachers.  A particular area of interest is love relationships.

Love.  A small word for such a spacious and elusive phenomenon.  Of all the mysteries that enchant us, love may be the one most sough after. Love is a huge topic in my therapy practice.  Clients ask: “How can I love myself more?” “How can I have a more loving relationship?” “Why do I want and fear love?” “How can I heal from this failed love affair?” “If he loves me, why does he betray me with sexual affairs?” “Am I in love or am I in an addiction?”  “What is love?” I have over 600,000 books sold to address these questions:  Is It Love or Is It Addiction? now in 12 languages; Love’s Way; Loving Me, Loving You; Love or Addiction? The Power of Teen Sex and Romance; Signs of Healthy Love; Signs of Addictive Love; Power Plays; Power Sharing; Addictive Love, Help Yourself Out; and my first fiction, Grip of the Hawk—a psychological thriller filled with challenging relationships. 

My media experience is extensive having been on 100s of radio, television, print and social media platforms including, among others, Fox O’Reilly News, Fox Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, Sally Jesse Rafael, and on-line interviews in various markets including CNN, PBS, and You Tube. I have been an invited speaker in such places as Chile, Singapore, UK, Mexico, Ice Land, and Canada. I unite a wide range of topics in my repertoire of presentations including bringing western psychology and various world philosophies into my work.  My style is compassionate and direct.

My beliefs include: life is abundant and for celebration; seeking help is a sign of wellness; we have an urge to grow and a resistance to change; relationships are our greatest teachers; everyone is living out an unconscious script that direct  who we love and how we love; the past, the present and the future are all one in that we only need to look at the past to see what is present now in our psyche and interfering with the future we desire.

Painful life events, including those in relationships, are wake-up calls and therapy should be movement forward on our soul’s journey. My opinion is that psychotherapy is ridding ourselves of ineffective problem-solving programs, negative feelings or thoughts, and compulsive behaviors that interfere with healthy relationships, and our self-esteem, autonomy, and capacity for intimacy.  It is an opportunity to find support and guidance to help individuals and relationships realize their full potential and to maximize creative energy often repressed by traumatic events, anxiety, depression, dysfunctional relationships, addiction, low esteem, grief, illness, victimization.

Brenda Schaeffer Articles