How To Balance Social Media & Relationships, According To A Love Expert
Here's how to maintain your love life online and in the real world...
dimaberlin/shutterstock It's no secret to anyone that social networks play a significant role in today’s society. And it may be hard to balance your online presence with your relationship.
Whether you want to accept it or not, most people spend a considerable amount of their time and attention on their online profiles.
So, is there a way to balance social media and relationships, or do we just have to settle for the current norms?
As these platforms permeate every aspect of our lives, the emotional factor cannot be left out. Even your relationships can be affected by social media, whether it's with your friends, family, or romantic partners.
How social media and relationships affect your everyday life.
A huge part of finding that healthy role social media and relationships play is often when you think about how it affects your everyday life.
Consider the start of a new relationship with someone in the early stages, when things are uncertain. It's easy for questions to arise like, "Should we change our relationship status online?"
You might wonder whether it's a necessity to share your pictures when you go out together somewhere, or to share important dates with your friends via various social media accounts.
Is there an ex or someone else you were talking to before you started dating your current partner? If so, should you cut off digital contact with them?
The online world is inexorably a part of your physical one now, and they interact with each other in varying ways that aren't always clear.
Social media can dangerous for your self-confidence.
Social media is supposed to be a medium that brings people together, but sometimes it looks more like a dangerous game where the health of your relationships hangs by a thread and may fall apart.
First, let's think about social media pictures. They all look perfect!
People use hundreds of filters to hide imperfections; fake effects or filters that make them feel superior or like movie stars. And many times, this is how others see you. It may be cool at first, but it happens the other way around, too!
As social media connects the whole world, chances are, many people will be wealthier, better-looking, and perhaps even happier than you are.
You'll see these people in their perfect world and feel like an outcast, as if you don't belong anymore. You'll see these people as through they're better than you. Then insecurity will hit and the self-questioning begins.
You'll torment yourself scrutinizing every little defect or what you think is a defect in yourself and your relationships.
Then the questioning goes beyond that. You start questioning your status, or even worse, your value to others.
Insecurity can damage your relationship.
Insecurity can make you go from a loving couple into a war of jealousy in a split second!
When you can’t balance your love life with social media, you'll see your partner follows and likes all those perfect characters, and you begin to think you're not good enough. And after that, it's like a snowball rolling downhill. It only gets worse.
Insecurity prevents you from distinguishing reality, and when it comes to social media, where the line is even blurrier, actions should be handled with care.
There's no such thing as the "perfect couple" you see online.
You may mistakenly believe the social media lie of there being such a thing as a "perfect couple," based on other people's posts.
In the same way that individuals fake a perfect life through social media, this modality extends to couples and friends. Fake love between supposedly perfect couples and camera friendships flood every social network.
People look so happy together. “OMG! They just had a baby! Look at them, what a happy life they're living!”
Those are the thoughts that go through your head every single second you spend on social media. But what you don't see is the rest of their day at home, how they live, how they truly relate.
Have you ever thought that maybe the perfect couple fights half of the time they're together at home? That the happily married couple just talked about divorce?
Yes, they may be posting pictures and leaving "I love you!" comments, but perhaps the words that actually hide behind are, "I hate you."
How to find balance with social media and relationships.
The balance resides in caring about your relationship more than about social media likes!
We all want to have a perfect relationship to post on social media. We all want to make people think we're the happiest person around, but remember: The flawless relationship doesn’t exist.
It's better to be actually happy at home than faking it on the net.
Don't get me wrong! Unquestionably, there are really happy couples and people out there that do know how to balance their love life and social media.
But remember that sometimes, the relationship you're longing for when surfing on social media might be right next to you. And that doesn't mean that you have to share with the world as much as others need.
You're not obligated to share your love life online.
Love is something you feel and feeling happy with your partner is something that you can share with people.
But do it because you feel like it, not because you think if you don't, it will mean you're not happy enough. Can you hear how that doesn't even make sense?
Find happiness in every little thing! Like cuddling together and doing things that make you both happy. More importantly, don’t compare your relationship, friendship, or family life to others.
Real love is what truly matters.
Beware of these recommendations when balancing your love life with social media.
If you have any doubts about you and your partner being public to others, always choose to talk about it. Communication is the essential key between you and the one you love.
Keep it real; you can't feel love through a smartphone or a computer.
Not managing your online tools may damage your relationship.
Remember to always prioritize your peace, instead of a silly digital space.
Social media can destroy a lot of things, and the people behind the screen don’t always wish you well. Be aware of all of it before stepping into this world.
And if you have any doubts about you and your partner being public online, always choose to talk about it. Remember, communication is the most important key between you and the one you love.
Agata Dominika is a relationship counselor. She works with many couples and single people who struggle to find happiness in love. For more information, visit her website.