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What's worse than being dumped right before Christmas? Nothing.
By Aaron Kaplan — Written on Nov 28, 2017
While the majority of breakups and divorces are pretty miserable, those that happen during the holidays can be some of the worst imaginable. This is especially true for the partners that didn't want the breakup.
In fact, they usually never see it coming, so it hits them like a wall when it happens. The timing on these breakups can also seem vindictive because you would think that waiting until after the holidays are over isn't that big of a deal.
When a holiday breakup or divorce happens, you may feel that there is no way you can have an enjoyable holiday season. Obviously, you're going to be unhappy and hurt. Everywhere you look may remind you of something to do with your ex and how happy you used to be.
Yes, it can be very hard to enjoy the holidays when you've been dumped by someone with the worst timing in the world. However, there ARE ways to make it through the holiday season and come out on the other side somewhat unscathed, and you can do that by learning how to deal with a holiday breakup.
1. Consider the reason for the breakup.
If it was just one of those silly fights that couples have caused by the stress that comes with the happy season, things will most likely be all patched up and fine by Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.
Yes, you'll have a few moments in there where you'll be unhappy and feel like you want to just die or you want him to die, but once both of you realize what was really going on, things will work themselves out. On top of that, you'll get to have some very amazing make-up sex, which can only make the holidays even better.
2. Surround yourself with friends and family.
Now, on the other hand, if he cheated on you or has met someone else he's serious about, or, for whatever reason, he's just not in love with you anymore, those are going to be difficult situations to deal with ANY time of the year, let alone holidays. This is when you need a great support system around you.
These can be your closest friends as well as family members that really care about you. Lean on them and accept whatever comfort and they're offering. Just remember that it is the holiday season for them, too, and they probably want to also enjoy this time of year as well.
Don't hide up in your room or your home and refuse human contact. This is when you need it the most. It's perfectly fine to grieve, but your goal is going to be getting through a few days before completely breaking down.
3. Don't act erratically.
There will be eleven months and three weeks to do that the rest of the year if you really want to spend that much time mourning someone that apparently didn't care all that much anyway. Do what you need to do to crawl through those holidays.
Keep in mind not to do something totally stupid, though, like indulging in a series of ill-advised one night stands. Stranger sex isn't going to heal you or even put a band-aid on your pain.
4. Understand that this may just be who he is.
One more thing to consider is that you may have hooked up with one of those guys that simply breaks up around holidays or special days so that he doesn't have to buy gifts. If that's your ex, he'll be back right after New Year's. Just expect him to pick a fight again right before Valentine's Day.
Aaron Kaplan is a Coach Training Alliance-Certified Coach (CTA-CC), Certified Prepare-Enrich Facilitator, and CDC Certified Divorce Coach®, who also happens to be an ordained member of the clergy.