How To Cope When You're Dating Your Partner's Controlling Mother

If you can show your partner's mother that you have common goals, she will become your best friend.


In a perfect world, everyone would have mothers that knew when to let go of their babies. However, it's not a perfect world and there are many more of these controlling mothers around than you would have ever thought possible.

That's why the chances are really good that when you are dating or hooking up with someone romantically, you're going to also be taking on their mom.

Now, it's not all bad. In fact, some mothers aren't really controlling so much as they really do just want their son or daughter to be happy. With those mothers, you've got a chance. While they might be a bit distant initially, once they see that you adore their little boy or little girl, they'll warm right up to you.


However, some mothers that feel that no one is good enough for their son or daughter. 

It wouldn't matter if you came from royalty and are next in line for the throne. Unless these women have personally handpicked the man or woman for their offspring to be with, it's pretty much a lost cause.

Now, if you're lucky, your partner will understand that their mom is being unreasonable and will act as the buffer between the two of you. If you're really lucky, he or she may even agree to move to another state so that you don't have to be around her all the time.

The worst of these controlling mothers will do anything to keep their son or daughter with them because their belief is that no one on this planet can look after their son or daughter as well as they can. Nothing you do is ever going to be good enough or right. 


The scariest part is that she'll expect to be included in all parts of your life. If your partner can't say no to her, she'll be tagging on date nights and vacations. You'll probably find her at your house more than at her own. 

The signs are usually there soon enough so that you can decide for yourself if it's worth it for you to get involved with someone who is overly overly attached to their mother. If you come to the conclusion that it is just not worth it for you, just cut your losses and run.

On the other hand, if you had no warning that you're inheriting a mother who is very controlling, by getting involved with what you thought was someone really fantastic; you may experience some pain before extricating yourself from the situation. If your partner's mother is acting unreasonable in your opinion and is trying to act like the third person in your relationship, attempt to have a talk with your partner about it. Tell your partner how you feel as if you're married or involved with BOTH of them and that you're not happy with the arrangement.


Your partner's mother may end up not being an entity you can battle. If that turns out to be true, then the only solution may be to move across the country from her. However, if your partner seems unwilling to cut those apron strings, you may just have to walk.