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'Ungrateful' Girlfriend Tells Boyfriend He’s ‘Cheap’ Because Of A Homemade Gift He Gave Her

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couple in santa hats arguing in front of christmas tree

A 31-year-old woman took to Reddit asking if she was in the wrong for implying to her boyfriend that he was cheap for a gift he gave her.

“For Vdays, Bdays and every other celebration, he'd gift me mostly jewelry and I get him his favorite gadgets or sports gear," she explained in her post, adding that her boyfriend is a single dad who "has a decent job with decent income and is into woodworking as a hobby.”

The girlfriend, therefore, expected a similar Valentine’s Day.

She "wasn't thrilled" by the homemade picture frame he gifted her.

She bought him sneakers, but when she found out her Valentine’s Day present was a homemade wooden picture frame he crafted with his kids, she wrote that she “wasn't thrilled with it.” Inside the homemade picture frame was a photo of her with him and his two sons.

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After voicing her opinion on the gift, the woman explained that her boyfriend was shocked by her disappointment.

"I pointed out that he has money to for an [sic] $200 necklace at least so I could wear it at the engagement party," she wrote, "but he said I was out of line to imply he was being cheap when all he was doing was to make me a special gift and also had the kids help with it and put so much thought and effort in it because they see me as family and I should be appreciative of that."

To this, she argued that she did appreciate it, but she “still thought he could've added the necklace as a great combo,” a statement that only upset him more.

"He couldn't understand why I'd value a necklace as much as or even over a special gift he and the kids made for me," she said.

She closed out her post self-assuredly, saying that “he blew this out of propotion [sic] since he asked for my opinion, and I don't know if he has the right to be upset with me now.”

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While people in the comments criticized the woman's reaction, psychologists have found that it's not always the thought that counts when giving gifts.

We typically see holidays, whether they be birthdays, Christmas or Valentine's Day, as times of giving, and as one person pointed out in the comments, a homemade frame holding a photo of the girlfriend with him and his kids means "every minute of the project he would be thinking of you."

However, research surprisingly shows that that may be a selfish way to look at holidays.

“We think that people would prefer something we’ve chosen for them rather than what they’ve explicitly asked for,” Marisa G. Franco, a psychologist and friendship expert, told the Washington Post. “When in fact, people actually like when they get a gift that they actually like.”

While homemade gifts directly from the heart are meaningful for the giver, Franco suggests making something that the receiver has said that they want.

That said, it's important to reiterate that holidays should be times of giving, not receiving, and as some people on Reddit noted, the woman's reaction to her boyfriend's heartfelt gift is a red flag for someone who has kids.

"Not only is she coming off as a gold digger because she wants yet another piece of jewelry over a heartfelt gift, but it sure does give insight into what she will do when her kids bring home the macaroni pictures and the turkey hand prints," someone commented. "Very sad that the one time lack of a $200 gift is all it takes for her to show her true colors."

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Amanda Hartmann is a writer who covers human interest stories, relationships, parenting, and more.