Boyfriend Accused Of Cheating After Kissing Ex-Girlfriend Who Was On Life Support
Did his final goodbye to a loved one count as cheating?
Stokkete and B-D-S Piotr Marcinski / Shutterstock While many couples have a good understanding of what constitutes cheating, one couple wasn't sure where to draw the line.
A man took to Reddit to discuss a moral dilemma between him, his dead ex-girlfriend, and his current girlfriend.
The man asked if he was wrong for kissing his ex-girlfriend, who was on life support.
The man explained that was dating a woman who got into a really bad car accident and needed to be put on life support. Her parents told the guy to move on and see other people, so after a lot of therapy, he did exactly that.
Meet Katie, his new girlfriend, who the man claims has “similar traits” to his dying ex, Anna.
He and Katie hit it off until he received news that Anna’s parents wanted to take her off life support. Before they did, the boyfriend kissed his ex on the lips one last time and told her he loved her.
At the funeral, which Katie attended, he read the eulogy and said he loved Anna. When confronted by Katie, who asked what he meant by that, he told her about how he kissed Anna in the hospital room, and Katie blew up on him. Katie called him a cheater and went to stay with her parents because of how upset she was.
People have different boundaries when it comes to cheating.
For some couples, cheating doesn't occur until one person sleeps with someone outside of the relationship. For others, something as simple as keeping secrets is where they draw the line. Even experts debate what really counts as cheating in relationships. According to couples and family therapist Jordan Madison, MS, LCMFT, the simplest way to define cheating "depends on what the couple decides for their relationship."
"I think a great rule of thumb for if it is cheating, is if it is a secret or not," Madison added. "Would you share what you are doing with your partner, or are you keeping it from them?"
In this case, the man admitted in his post that he "felt guilty" for kissing Anna goodbye — however, the ex's imminent passing complicates the matter, as she wasn't an immediate threat to the new relationship. What it did show, however, was that the man likely wasn't ready to move on from Anna, putting Katie in a tough situation.
Many people noted that the issue didn't have to do with the kiss.
"It probably doesn't feel great to have a boyfriend who talks openly about loving another woman. It's basically publicly calling her a rebound or a second choice," one person wrote. "I would probably spend time away from OP too in that situation, he clearly isn't ready for another relationship and needs time to grieve.
A final goodbye kiss is totally fine. Anna was dying, comatose, and being taken off life support. She was clearly someone he cared about deeply, and it’s not like he could go back to her. But trying to recreate what you had with someone else is hurtful.
Moral of the story: next time you think about starting a relationship, make sure you’re over your ex.
Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice and relationships.