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Boyfriend Accused Of Cheating After Kissing Ex-Girlfriend Who Was On Life Support

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While many couples have a good understanding of what constitutes cheating, for one couple, they weren't sure where to draw the line.

Reddit user u/tellze, took to the subreddit r/AmItheA*****e (AITA) and submitted a post describing a moral dilemma between him, his dead ex-girlfriend, and his current girlfriend.

For those unfamiliar with the subreddit, it’s a place where people post their stories and ask for the opinions of other users to determine if “You’re The A*****e” (YTA), “Not The A*****e” (NTA) to get a better understanding of their situation with help from outside perspectives.

One particular story on the subreddit involved a man asking if he was a jerk for kissing his ex-girlfriend, who was on life support.

RELATED: How To Know What Really Counts As Cheating

The user explained that was dating a woman who got into a really bad car accident and needed to be put on life support. Her parents told the guy to move on and see other people, so after a lot of therapy, he did exactly that.

Meet Katie, his new girlfriend, who this user claims has “similar traits” to his dying ex, Anna.

Katie and the original poster hit it off, but then he received news that Anna’s parents want to take her off life support. They did, and the boyfriend decided he was going to kiss his ex on the lips on last time and told her he loved her.

At the funeral, which Katie attended, he read the eulogy and said he loved Anna. When confronted by Katie, who asked what he meant by that, he told her about how he kissed Anna in the hospital room, and Katie blew up on him.

Katie called him a cheater, and went to stay with her parents because of how upset she was.

Now, enter the internet counseling.

There’s a lot of context that isn’t completely clear, like the time frame in which all of this happened.

The user made the post a year after his ex got into the accident and said he sat by her in the hospital for months before seeking therapy and time to himself before dating again. So, there are maybe a few months of grieving time, and then a few months of dating before Anna was taken of life support.

Timing is important, because a lot of commenters noted that the issue didn't have to do with the kiss.

A majority of responders who said "YTA" thought the user was the a*****e for looking for a new relationship when he clearly wasn't ready.

People also called out the line: “I saw a lot of traits in her that I saw in my ex.”

Reddit user u/UniqueUsername718 said "YTA" for the line: “I saw a lot of the traits in (new girl) that (old girl) had.” They pointed out that Katie shouldn't have been a replacement for Anna, and had a right to feel jealous for how the user saw her.

RELATED: 65 Best Grief Quotes To Help Someone Cope With Loss

A final goodbye kiss is totally fine. Anna was dying, comatose, and being taken off life support. She was clearly someone he cared about deeply, and it’s not like he could go back to her.

But trying to recreate what you had with someone else is selfish and hurtful.

Katie deserves better, and I’m sure that’s how she felt.

Other users said “No A******s Here” (NAH), and that they don’t blame either party for their choices. Katie had a right to be hurt, and maybe the guy thought he really was ready to get back out there.

For those same reasons, people also said “Everyone Sucks Here” (ESH) — meaning, all parties involved were at fault, with the exception of Anna, the ex-girlfriend.

The only thing that's hard to understand is the people who said "NTA" to the user, but "YTA" to the new girlfriend, Katie, instead.

A user on a now-deleted account pointed out that Katie was jealous of Anna, who passed away, and could have been more understanding.

This is the top rated comment, and it’s surprising to see that so many people agree with that. Honestly, that comment is distasteful and shallow towards the girlfriend.

Should Katie have been more empathetic and supportive of her boyfriend? Probably. But to shame her on the grounds of being “jealous of a dead woman” is a bad take.

It’s much deeper than that; Katie is her own person and shouldn’t be the target of a replacement.

In this AITA situation, everyone is in the wrong.

The relationship shouldn’t have happened to begin with, but both the original poster and Katie could have handled it much better, including communicating everything before it all unfolded.

But that’s probably an even bigger indicator that he wasn’t ready.

Moral of the story: next time you think about starting a relationship, make sure you’re over your ex.

RELATED: Kissing Someone Else Isn't Considered Cheating, Even If You're In A Relationship

Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice and relationships.

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