Husband Says His Wife Controls Everything He Eats After They Were Diagnosed With Unexplained Infertility

"After more than a year of giving up these things, I am miserable.”

Unhappy man eating vegetable salad at table in kitchen. Grustock / Shutterstock

Battling infertility can be mentally strenuous for couples wanting to start a family. So after two years of trying to conceive a child with no luck, one conflicted husband took to Reddit for advice on how to cope while dealing with his wife’s odd behavior.

A husband said his spouse controls everything he consumes after being unable to have a baby for two years.

In the r/relationship_advice subreddit, a forum where users seek advice on all kinds of relationship conflicts in their lives, the 25-year-old shared his current situation concerning his wife who seems to be taking things out on him.


The user explained that the pair had been married for four years, and about two years ago they felt it was the right time for them to begin a family. “Everything up to this point in the marriage was great. She was the perfect partner, supportive and caring,” he wrote. During those two years, however, his wife had been struggling to get pregnant, which further complicated matters in their relationship.

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Doctors were unable to explain why the couple was having trouble conceiving.

“After the first year, we followed the general advice that something may be wrong, so we started going to fertility doctors,” the user explained. “We have both been tested inside and out and there is nothing found as a reason why we aren’t conceiving.


The doctors ultimately diagnosed their situation as unexplained infertility, which is when both partners have undergone comprehensive evaluations that reveal no perceptible cause of having fertility problems, yet are still struggling to conceive.

“It seems that she may be blaming me for this, which probably explains her behavior towards me,” the man wrote.


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The man claims that his wife began controlling many aspects of his life after the diagnosis.

Over the last year, he states that his wife has put a stop to any caffeine intake despite the doctor’s approval so long as it’s less than 400 milligrams a day. The user adds that his wife has also forced him to stop taking prescription medication used to help with his skin condition, along with controlling the food he eats.

"She has read random articles on the internet or has superstitious beliefs or something related to all of the items above that she no longer allows me to do,” he wrote. However, the user notes that when he tries to stand his ground, he’s only met with disapproval. “I can understand where she’s coming from, and I acknowledge that she is also giving up things,” the user stated. “But after more than a year of giving up these things, I am miserable.” 

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People on Reddit offered the conflicted husband advice regarding his situation.

“You guys need to stop trying to conceive, get into couples counseling, and your wife needs individual therapy. She's not handling this well,” one user asserted. 

Another user adds that the pair is still incredibly young to worry about running out of time in terms of conceiving a child, but it’s important for them to remember that they're facing this hurdle as a team. “They really do need to work through this as partners, and [his] wife is definitely taking the ‘me against you’ and not the ‘us against the problem’ approach which is really bad [in my opinion],” they wrote.

Stress, as a third user noted, can certainly have negative effects on a couple’s ability to get pregnant. “People would be surprised [by] the number it can do on your body,” they wrote. 

According to the Mayo Clinic Health System, it’s unlikely that stress would be the sole cause of infertility; however, studies have shown that those with a history of depression or anxiety may experience difficulties in trying to get pregnant.


In the end, it’s important for prospective parents (and anyone, really) to take care of themselves, not just physically, but emotionally as well, before taking on the challenge of bringing a child into the world.

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Xiomara Demarchi is a writer based in New York who covers human interest topics for YourTango’s news and entertainment team.