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Boundaries were set, and they were broken
By Kurtis Condra — Written on Jul 28, 2022
A soon-to-be bride is asking Reddit for advice after deciding to call off her wedding.
With just three days to go until her big day, the bride was horrified to learn that her husband had breached boundaries that they had mutually agreed not to cross.
So, in need of advice from uninvolved strangers, she took to Reddit's "r/AmITheA-hole" subreddit where users shares personal conflicts.
Once the community reads your post, they will decide and label one of the three tags, YTA which means "you're the a--hole," if you're NTA, which means "not the a--hole," or ESH, which means "everyone sucks here."
The bride saw a video of her fiance during his bachelor party and decided to call off their wedding.
Beginning her post, she starts by saying that she and her fiancé agreed before his bachelor party and her bachelorette that there would be no strippers or anything inappropriate at the events.
Their parties were on the same weekend, so she and her friends booked a yacht for her party, and she said she and her friends had such a blast.
"All of us got very wasted, to be honest, and the next day, when I returned home, I was suffering from a hangover, and my fiancé was kinda upset with me and believed I was being inappropriate."
Before learning what her partner had done, the bride felt guilty that she was the one who broke a boundary when the "worst" thing she did was become intoxicated with her friends and sing karaoke.
It was not until her bridesmaid sent her a video of what her partner did at his bachelor party that she realized his anger may have been a projection.
"She sent me the video and it was some of the groomsmen and my fiancé dancing with strippers and doing extremely inappropriate things with them," she continues her post.
Later in the video, she said her fiancé was dancing with the women and touching them in a less than acceptable way.
With this revelation, she confronted her fiancé. The couple inevitably argued and she questioned why her partner had made her feel guilty for her actions when his were far more boundary-breaking.
He continuously apologized and lamented that both did stupid things and said, "we should leave it behind," and he promised to "never do such a thing again, and he just got carried away."
She said she wasn't buying what he was saying and decided to call off her wedding, quickly telling her guests that the event wouldn't be going ahead.
"I notified our families separately and I've been called all names in the book by both families for doing so. They said they understand why I might feel upset but these things are normal to happen and I should not let my emotions take over," she said.
She says that her family and friends are making her feel as if it is irrational for her to call off the whole wedding after spending thousands of dollar.
Not only that, but her parents are now being hostile to her, saying she's embarrassing them and instead of working things out and that she's throwing it all away over a "silly small thing."
However, Reddit users took the bride's side.
"It's not normal. And you had a very specific agreement that he broke and lied about it. Not only that, but he purposely blamed you for getting drunk, because he was building up a defense in case he got caught," wrote one user.
Every user that has commented has decided that the bride is NTA for doing what she did.
Users also sympathize with the bride, and how her parents care more about appearances suggests she try to talk to them. Some suggest if they refuse to listen, then she needs to cut her parents off because they don't care for their daughter's well-being.
This issue is challenging for the bride, she wants the perfect wedding and was planning to spend the rest of her life with this man. However, she may have dodged a bullet if these are his true colors.
Kurtis Condra covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics for YourTango. He is also a poet based in San Francisco, California. You can keep up with his poetic journey on Instagram.