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Does she have a right to be upset?
By Megan Quinn — Written on Mar 10, 2023
When a new mother took to social media to announce the birth of her first child, she was shocked to see that the newborn’s photo and birth announcement were already made.
Now months later, she is asking if her anger over not being the first person to notify others of her baby’s arrival is justified.
The woman claims that her mother-in-law announced the birth of her first child on Facebook before she had the chance to.
Sharing her story to the U.K. parenting forum Mumsnet, the mother asked other users if she was overreacting by being upset about the situation.
She began her post by revealing that she gave birth to her first child three months prior. Due to a traumatic birth including a failed epidural and a postpartum hemorrhage, the woman suffered from shock and did not announce her baby’s arrival right away.
However, her husband sent a photo of the baby to their family via text message.
“[The] next day after gathering thoughts together etc, my husband and I decide we want to announce the arrival of our first child to friends and family on Facebook,” the woman wrote. She had not announced her pregnancy on social media out of fear of miscarrying.
She soon realized that her mother-in-law had made the announcement already.
“I go and open up Facebook and see MIL [mother-in-law] has posted a picture of our baby (sent by husband just to family which I hadn't even seen at this point) announcing the arrival of 'her grandchild' that 'just happened,’” she wrote.
Her mother-in-law did not tag her or her husband in the post and had not reached out to her at all following the birth. Initially, the woman shares that she was not bothered by her mother-in-law’s actions.
“At the time I was too in shock and exhausted to even really take it in, but as the initial shock of the birth wore off I've just felt increasingly angry about it and literally cannot shake it off,” she admits.
“It is not like me to get annoyed or upset by others' behavior that easily, and I hate that I am feeling so negative. Am I being unreasonably grumpy to feel absolutely incensed by this and is she just excited or is this just not good etiquette?!”
Users had varying opinions.
“It's an incredibly selfish move. No one has the right to announce the birth of anyone's child,” one user commented.
“It's an awful thing to do! Anyone with half a brain cell doesn't say anything until the parents themselves have announced it on social media!” another user shared.
“It’s not her news to tell,” another user wrote.
However, others encouraged the woman to let go of her anger and that her mother-in-law was most likely excited about the news.
“I see how it would annoy you. It would annoy me. But if your MIL [mother in law] is otherwise a good person in your lives, maybe try to move on,” one user suggested.
“She was delighted and excited to share the amazing news - find something better to focus your annoyance on or, better still, move on!” another user recommended.
“I’d file this in the ‘it’s annoying but it’s done camp’ and move on. Like you said, she didn’t tag you so your friends and family won’t have seen it so it hasn’t impacted your announcement,” another user pointed out. “It was poor etiquette but not really all that important. She was wrong but does it actually matter? I hope your recovery is going okay and congratulations.”
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.