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Mom Refused To Let Daughter Use Her College Fund To Support Her Boyfriend — Now She’s Thinks She Was Too Harsh

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Mother with her crying daughter

A 47-year-old mother is conflicted about a decision she made regarding her 18-year-old daughter Sara, which caused Sara to break up with her boyfriend before they head into college.

Sara has a 4.0 GPA, was the valedictorian of her class, has received a full ride to the school of her dreams, and knows exactly what she wants to do in life and where she wants to go.

Her parents saved up $250,000 for her college fund, but since she doesn’t need it anymore, they were just going to give it to her anyway so she could spend it on other things.

Her mother said that she wouldn’t give her the college fund if she spent it on her boyfriend.

Now, is she a--hole here? Let’s ask the internet philosophers over on one of the most popular subreddits on Reddit, “r/AmItheA--hole,” to find out — well actually, the mother already did.

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This (not-so) little subreddit is everyone’s favorite place to go to when they’re struggling with the consequences of their actions and really want some outside opinion on the going-ons in their life — allowing strangers to give them ratings on their decisions and offering good bits of advice from time to time.

For a lot of people, they’re confused why the mother would even make this post or question her decision in the first place — so now, for some context.

“Well, she came home yesterday kind of sad,” she said. “I asked her what was the matter. She said that she was not going to go to college anymore. Apparently, her boyfriend Bryan (19m) told her not to go anymore.”

Enter, the abusive, controlling, manipulative boyfriend who feels inferior to his girlfriend for simply not having everything planned out as she does.

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According to the mother, “his family is VERY well off, and his parents have never issued discipline on this child. I mean, he is very rude and disrespectful, and although he seems sweet to my daughter when they are alone, she'll complain that whenever they're out with friends, Bryan is constantly putting her down and comparing her to Instagram models.”

So it gets even worse, and somehow when you think it couldn’t possibly get lower than that? It does.

“He told her to wait for him here in our town, and don't worry about getting a job even, because his parents will support her,” she continued, “and that he didn't feel comfortable with her going to college out of state and so far away."

"He also said that it made him feel unmanly when she has a set course for her future which will give her a good life, while he has none.”


This was all after Sara was telling her boyfriend how excited she was about the full ride and becoming a marine biologist, which he apparently never supported and often suggested she “go to college for a ‘REAL’ job.”

Sara, on a strange whim, decided to ask her mother for the college money in order to support Bryan’s dreams, which got no clarification, and got upset when her mother said no.

Upon asking whether Sara saw a real future with this boy or not, she admitted she didn’t and broke up with him shortly afterward.

“The truth of the matter is that Bryan is toxic and abusive,” said the top comment which gave her an NTA rating. “She absolutely loves him, but he clearly doesn't love her, because he's willing to wreck her future in order to feel in control.”

Her mother absolutely got Sara to dodge a bullet there. It’s absolutely unbelievable that someone would try to stop you from going to college and pursuing your dreams because they feel “unmanly,” only to (assuming) ask you for money to support theirs.

“I keep thinking if his family is so rich, he could have moved to where she was going to college. But no, it’s ‘I feel unmanly if I’m not superior to you.’ Barf,” said another reply.

The overwhelming majority of the comments commended the mother’s decision and obliterated the boy’s behavior and character in a situation that very clearly shows that the mother made the right choice and is NOT the a--hole.

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Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Follow him on Twitter here.