Entertainment And News

Man Upsets His Wife's Friends By Claiming That Being A Stay-At-Home-Father Is 'Easier Than His Office Job'

Photo: Jelena Zelen / Shutterstock
Man holding his baby while working from home

Paying out of pocket for childcare is nearly impossible for many Americans, so many families have opted to go with the stay-at-home route to raise and take care of their children.

Say what you will, there’s no denying that stay-at-home parents are often essential pieces to any family, but not everyone will have such an easy time doing it.

One man on Reddit’s “r/AmItheA--hole” (AITA) subreddit believes that it is easy, and said as much when his wife’s friends brought the subject up to him.

Due to their adverse reaction, he’s taken to the online forum to ask strangers for their opinions on whether or not he said the right thing.

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He told his wife’s friend’s that being a stay-at-home dad was easier than any of his former jobs.

First, he provided some context on the situation with his wife and their children, explaining that when they talked about wanting to start a family, they had planned for her to be a stay-at-home wife while he continued working.

“We had our first kid but she didn't do too well being the stay-home and had a hard time with it,” he revealed. “We still wanted our kids to have a parent at home with them so we swapped out since her salary was close to mine.”

After their second kid, and even up to now, he is still the stay-at-home dad and works reduced, remote hours with his job.

“For me personally, it's easier than any job I've had in the past, even the manual labor one but I recognize that that's just my personal experience,” he explains. “We've touched base on the issue a few times to make sure there's no resentment, guilt, or discomfort on either of our parts.”

Fast forward to a dinner that he and his wife were invited to by one of her friends from work where one of the mothers (who has struggled with being a SAHM before) made an assumption on his behalf.

“My wife was talking about how she had disliked it and mentioned our arrangement when one of the women said to me: ‘Oh I know you're just itching to get back to having it easy,’” he wrote.

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“I responded that I already have it easy and that for me, being a stay-at-home dad was a cakewalk compared to my office job.”

Her friends didn’t like it, but didn’t make a scene at the dinner — his wife however scolded him about it on their way home, and asked him why he hadn’t just agreed for the sake of the conversation.

“I didn't see the point in agreeing with something that just isn't true for me,” he wrote.

The next day, she came home, mocked him by asking if he had “another easy peasy day” and explained that the women at work talked about how much of a “smug a--hole” he was.

He believes that they may feel like he was making light of their personal experiences as stay-at-home mothers, but he’s unsure if he actually did or said anything wrong.

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Reddit reassured him that he was not to blame for how they reacted to his personal experiences.

“[Not The A--hole] — people were sharing their experience, and you shared yours. Simple as that,” read the top comment.

“Some people struggle with being a homemaker. Plenty of others find it easy. Neither group hurts the other by being honest about their experiences,” a second user explained.

Some users pointed out that the woman’s initial assumption could be insulting in and of itself, playing into the stereotype that men find child and homecare difficult or unfulfilling and would rather leave it up to the women in their lives.

All he said was that he, personally, had found it easier than jobs he had performed in the past, and he shouldn’t have to lie about his own experience simply because others might interpret it the wrong way.

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Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Keep up with his rants about current events on his Twitter.