Man Asks If He's Wrong For Refusing To Take Girlfriend To Fancy Restaurants When She Only Eats 'Little Kid Food'
When it comes to compatibility, don't underestimate the importance of food.
cottonbro studio / Pexels, Reddit If you’ve ever dated a picky eater, you might recognize the frustration of taking someone to a new restaurant only for them to order chicken tenders and fries. However, there are lots of reasons for someone to have picky eating habits, does it have to be a dealbreaker?
A man took to Reddit's “r/AmItheA--hole” (AITA) subreddit, where users ask for opinions on interpersonal conflicts, to ask Reddit users whether he was in the wrong for not wanting to take his girlfriend out to fancy restaurants.
In his post, he wrote that his girlfriend was extremely selective about what she ate, apparently refusing to eat any “non-American food.” In comparison, he described himself as an “adventurous” eater.
He called her eating habits ‘childish’ and ‘kind of embarrassing.’
The man was annoyed that his girlfriend would order the same food wherever they went, complaining that if she wanted chicken tenders they could just make some at home. They ended up getting into an argument, as the girlfriend interpreted his attitude as him thinking that she was childish and that he was better than her.
What bothered him the most was that he would typically pay for their meals, and he felt like it was a “waste of time and money” to go out and order something that they could easily make at home.
The top comment on the post stated that although it seemed silly of the man to be embarrassed by his girlfriend’s eating habits, they didn’t see the point in going to an expensive restaurant to order chicken fingers and fries.
They also pointed out that lots of people bond over trying different foods together, and that it seemed like the original poster might be frustrated that he can’t partake in these shared experiences with his girlfriend.
Other users speculated that the girlfriend might only be interested in going out to eat to get dressed up and enjoy the atmosphere of the restaurant. Many came to a consensus that if she wanted to go out, she could cover her portion of the bill so that her boyfriend wouldn’t feel frustrated about paying for what he saw as kid’s food.
Some people, however, were critical of the boyfriend's attitude.
The second highlighted comment on the post remarked that the point of going out to eat should be to spend time together and that the girlfriend isn’t inconveniencing anyone with her eating habits.
According to a study performed by Hana Zickgraf, assistant professor of psychology with a focus on eating behaviors, via Washington Post, approximately 30 percent of people call themselves picky eaters.
Unlike the other picky eaters in the post’s comments, she wouldn’t refuse to go to new places with her boyfriend, she just ordered food she liked. The commenter advised the original poster to “either decide it’s a deal breaker for you or learn to live with it.”
Other users pointed out that the girlfriend’s eating habits could be due to a number of reasons, including food aversions due to neurodivergence, anxiety regarding food, or eating disorders like avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID).
“My ex once mentioned that he's embarrassed to go to restaurants with me, and boom, I lost all enjoyment in going to restaurants with him,” shared one user. Another commenter who related to the girlfriend posted the following: “I’ve been in this relationship and I’m so thankful I found a partner that understands that while I may not always branch out and try something fancier, I still deserve to go to a nice place and experience the atmosphere and enjoy a meal with my partner.”
The general conclusion on the forum seemed to be that, while the couple could compromise by having the girlfriend pay for her own food, the original poster should rethink whether he really wants to stay in his relationship — especially considering how embarrassed he seems to be of her. One Redditor asked, “If this is really a big deal for him why doesn’t he date someone else?”
Another stated that “It’s not for him to decide why she eats what she eats. He can break up with her or accept her for the way she is.”
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Jessica Bracken is a writer living in Davis. She covers entertainment and news for YourTango.